Just a little

So my mom is flying here to visit this evening. Ed will pick her up from the airport after working a really long day...my pregnant self will try to stay awake for her late arrival, but it might not make it. I know she would rather have me well rested than up and then crabby tomorrow. So we'll see.

The other day we were talking about how she hasn't seen the boys since the last week in July and she just can't wait to see and hear the boys chatter. She reminded me how in July, Henry would process so much in his head of what he wanted to say, but then it would jumble all up for the first chunk of what he was saying and it would come out a mess. The thought would finish clearly but the first part was a mumble mash of cute-ness.

Shockingly, I realized that I had forgotten how he used to do that. And he doesn't do it anymore. He can process his thoughts and express them rather clearly now. And my heart races, my stomach drops, and I have one more thing to lay awake realizing. Time is flying.

A few friends/family have emailed about my post about our Halloween, to inform me that our "little one" will be big enough to dress up and ride in the wagon. I know. I know. But I don't want to rush the thought of the baby being already a tot at Halloween. I do realize it - I have even thought out the costumes for it's first 3 years. We even joked this weekend that next year we will throw the little bean a piece of licorice to pacify him/her during the trick or treat journey. I DO get it.

But the hormonal pregnant mama just wants it to slow down. And there is a GOOD chance that our third will not walk at 9 months. And when dusk hits and the trick or treat journey begins we will strap that little one to us in a backpack or front carrier and set off. You never know!

Henry is the one these days that leaves me pausing and realizing how fast time is going. Charley is growing up too but the pace seems to have slowed now that he has hit Kindergarten.

Today Henry brought snack for his class. He was so proud. His teacher was laughing how he would stand up during the snack time and look around and make sure everyone was eating and enjoying. He even said to her that everyone liked the cookies. And when we reunited he told me, "Mama, my friends like the cookies I brought. cheese too!" He is so big.

And this afternoon they are both cranky but yet those darn art boxes we bought on Monday are still "THE" toy to play with. They have journeyed down to our newly cleaned up kid play area in the basement, they have music playing, and are puttering around with things. I am left realizing that my boys can play without their mama watching every move they make.

I look at my niece Morgan and my nephew Eli and think...they just turned 1...and a year from now we will be verging on our third miracle turning 1. It is going to go even faster than Charley and Henry's first year. I can feel it.

SLOW DOWN! And maybe that is why I am hesitating these days to set up play dates and exciting outings in the afternoon. By staying home, and letting them putter in the basement, cozy on the couch watching a cartoon together, baking pumpkin bars with me, playing Candy land...I can MAYBE, just MAYBE, slow it down a little bit.

Just a little.

Rainy Day Reminders

Today the rain came down and the grass went from somewhat green to bright spring green!  It is like magic.  On rainy days I usually take my boys out to rescue worms (and I do this with them if we have little girls over too...why can't little girls help save the worms?).  So today we all three put on our rainboots.  Charley grabbed his cute frog umbrella and Henry borrowed my umbrella. 

We walked the streets...and found no worms today!  But we did find some puddles.  The boys jumped, splashed, and Charley and I made up songs about the rain. 

While walking along the curb...right there where Charley was jumping high...up there in the lower right hand picture, I  realized how little he is.  SO MUCH SMALLER THAN A GIGANTIC WHITE (I MEAN ALL WHITE) RECYCLING GARBAGE TRUCK.  Yes, I am yelling.  Yesterday on our little cul-de-sac of a road, a neighbor friend came around the corner (off another cul-de-sac) and was so busy texting that she ran smack into the backend of a recycyling truck that was stopped picking up garbage!  The truck was enormous.  It was white!  It was stopped.  And her little car was securly wedged underneath the backend of the truck.   The gal who was driving was pregnant...and upset...I could tell as I drove past...probably between the ages of 18-22.

So today, as I slowly wandered the rainy street with my boys I realized...if she didn't see the massive recycling truck...she would NEVER have seen either of my little boys...or myself.

PUT DOWN YOUR PHONES!  Don't let some silly little text or email....distract you for even a second.  Because, I am guessing that the email or text or whatever, isn't life changing...but what it distracts you from doing safely....now that could change your life - and someone else's for forever.

I am glad that the young pregnant gal was okay, at least it looked like she was.  And I hope that this little reminder that could have turned out sooooo much worse...will leave a more lasting impact on her life - more than the inconvience of a wrecked car or a bigger insurance payment.  I know it will stay in my mind.   

For the Love of Spring!

Spring is a time for new beginnings...buds on the trees, grass slowly turning green, flowers popping up and blooming. It begins looking dirty, muddy, and gloomy but soon becomes a temptation, luring us out to enjoy the fresh breeze and sunshine on our faces.

This past weekend spring showed it's face. We were given warmer temperatures that melted ALMOST all the snow away. The sun was shining and my boys begged to head outside. I knew it was spring because they were occupied with bubbles for almost 45 minutes.

I now realize that pulling out the yard toys should be done slowly. They almost seem new to the kids. So why not take advantage of that.   They did bubbles for 45 minutes and then we got out some bikes.  Henry called his "motorcycle" and Charley gave his bike a good run.  I have a feeling that this summer the bike will be big on Charley's outside to do list.

Spring is a time when I think about my role as a parent and how I can incorporate the outdoors into our daily life...will it be to distract from the late afternoon 'bewitching' hour. Or will it wear us out for naps and quiet time in the afternoon. It is easier to make quick spur of the moment plans with friends by meeting at the park.   Hikes, walks, parks, picnic tables, hammocks, bikes, scooters, docks for fishing, exploring in the woods...the list is endless.

Spring also brings the ring of dirt in the bathtub - which has been missing since November!  It means clothing is stained with mud and grass stains.  Shoes are caked with mud and sand pours from them abundantly.  Knees get skinned and hands are visibly dirty!  Spring leaves it's mark. 

Spring has sprung - and yet, I know that here in Minnesota we might get one more big blast of winter.  But it will melt quickly and soon enough - it will be here to stay!

My favorite part of spring is this:

A comfy chair in the sun, my phone, a good book, the sound of my two boys puttering around, and a cold beer!

Wrapping up our week with some random thoughts!

 A couple of the blogs I read do these Friday posts that allow you to share lots of random thoughts.  Sippy Cups Are Not For Starbucks features a Friday Night Leftovers post.  And a fellow blogger Shell from Things I Can't Say does Friday Fragments, which is hosted at Half Past Kissin Time.  So I am linking up to them today!

 

 

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This week has been overwhelming, as I mentioned in my last post, but it has culminated peacefully and this afternoon feels good. Even the fact that Henry is not napping has turned out to be perfect. This afternoon is why I chose to stay home and raise my boys. To focus on them. This afternoon Henry isn't napping and instead Charley is elated that his little brother is up and around to play building. They have tinker toys scattered throughout the lower level of our house. They are using their tools to hammer and assemble various contraptions. They also water color painted and played restaurant.

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This morning Henry had his class that involves an hour of seperation time. Last night as I snuggled and read him stories we talked about school on Friday. His firm response, "Mama back!" "Go teacher gym. Mama back." Looking at me with his big blue eyes I can see that he gets it. He knows it is coming but he also understands that I will come back. Big steps. Because he didn't go to daycare like Charley and because he has a big brother that is normally around when we leave them with a babysitter or grandma....he rarely seperates independently. This class has been the best thing for both him and I. Today - NO tears. He did need his nuk but he ate his snack and I watched as he played and then took his teachers hand and walked to the gym. I am SOOOOOO very proud of my little guy. He is growing up so quickly.

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Lately Henry has been playing house with Charley. Charley will often times be the dad and Henry is the "kid". Or Henry is the dad and Charley is the "dog." Whenever Charley plays house and he or the other person is the kid he always calls the kid - "the Kid." For example he will say, "Hey kid, time to go eat." "Hey kid, time to go to sleep." I have asked him why the kid can't have a name...and he just looks so confused. I am tempted to start calling him kid..."Hey kid, time to brush your teeth. Hey kid, you forgot to flush the toilet."

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I read several blogs that have shared stressful mother experiences lately and because I read their blogs daily I am finding that I get really emotionally riled up for them. Nic, at Blessed with a Full house, has had some major energy bills. I am so irritated for her. And Theta Mom had a run in with a nasty receptionist when taking her little one to the doctor.  I would love to give that lady a piece of my mind.  I respect how both of them are handling the situations!

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My mom and dad have been on vacation in Mexico with a group of friends that make them so happy.  My mom has been emailing little updates during the week but I miss talking to her.  Luckily, I have had time to email with my sister and brother.  I love that my relationships with them allow for daily chatter.  

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We are going to try these pizza pockets soon!  MckMama posted them on her blog My Charming Kids.  They look easy and kid friendly!

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Someone told me today that when you have a whole pineapple you should cut off the top and let it sit upside down for a day to let the sugars and juices flow back up throughout the whole fruit.  Sounds good to me.  I couldn't find any proof of this idea online...maybe you can!  But it sounds like it would make sense.  

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Did you know that you can use a dryer sheet to help keep your kids or your own hair from being so crazy static-y in the winter.  Throw one in your coat pocket and next time you get somewhere and your little one tears off his hat to find that his hair is sticking straight up or is stuck to their face you can relieve some of this annoyance. 

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Okay, I am starting to ramble!  Have a great weekend!  We are going to be mellow and slow here.  Maybe do something outside - since the sun is shining and the temperatures have been comfortable for the frozen tundra of Minnesota! 

Pick up the phone.

 

Tonight as our long day came to a close I stood by the front window and gazed at the houses on our block.  Wondering if they were warm and cozy at home.  Three houses down there is an older couple who we rarely see.  They come and go and wave occasionally, but they aren't outside much.  This morning while I was shoveling I saw the man come out and attempt to shovel but then he went inside.  If I wasn't completely overwhelmed with our shoveling and my two little helpers I would have wandered down to help out.  We have very generous neighbors that usually help them out so I wasn't too worried.  But tonight as I stood and watched their house, as dusk fell, I saw them close their front window blinds (I of course wondered if they could see me gazing at their house).

I thought about what they were eating for dinner.  I pondered the quiet that they enjoyed.  But realized quickly that they probably also miss the pitter-patter of little feet or hustle of having older children coming and going.  

I thought of the people in my life who have moved on to enjoy the quiet evenings.   I thought of my Grandpa and I felt glad that he is in a place surrounded by busy-ness.  People coming and going, companions to eat with, and yet the peace to think about life.  I thought of Ed's grandma and the independent life she lives at the age of 91.   Still enjoying and thriving in her own kitchen, next door to her sister.  And then I thought of my Great Uncle Chuck.  He lost his wife this past August and I wondered what in the world he was doing this evening.  How did he spend his day?  What did he eat?  So I called my mom and she gave me his number and encouraged me to give him a call.  He is a talker and would be easy to chat with.  

I called and as I hung up my shoulders felt lighter.  My heart was bursting from knowing that I made his day but also - I felt better knowing that he went out to lunch today with a "fellow" who picked him up in his car.  He measured the snow and was happy to find that the seven inches he measured agreed with the weather newsman.  He cleared his driveway with his tractor.  He is on a mission to talk to the people at his church about my Great Aunt Ellie not being mentioned in the bulletin, and he got a call from a niece in Mexico.  He is a busy man...and he didn't eat much for dinner because he went out for lunch.  

Not even 5 minutes after hanging up - my phone rang.  It was my grandpa.  He just called to say hi.  They also got snow and he had liver, onions, and a piece of cake for dinner.  He gave his friend his bowl of tomatoes.  He has a new record player because the needle on his old one broke.  He. was. good. 

These two phone calls took less than 10 minutes out of my life, yet I know they will sit with me for many days.  I admit to thinking about calling people but in a world of email, text messaging, facebook, and other forms of social media - I forget.  I forget about those that I love that aren't connected in these new ways.  I forget that picking up the phone and actually talking to a good friend does wonders for the soul (thank you Jessie).

I challenge you to not just think about it - CALL, WRITE, or go VISIT!  

Make someone's day!  It will make yours.

A productive day, some great memories, and a horrific pin!

I have been cleaning house lately - not cleaning as in scrubbing - but rather I have been going through cupboards, drawers, and closets. I have a pile that is quickly growing that we will donate. This morning Charley and Henry went through our toy bins and amazingly we sorted things out and decided what we could donate and what we should hold on to. Ed could tell I was in a groove..so he suggested I go through some boxes that my parents delivered after we moved into this house. When we moved into this house we were graced with a large unfinished basement - plenty of space for me to fill with crap. Yes, I will be honest, crap.

So Ed brought up these boxes:

and the boys and I dove in. It was a little frightening....but it was also a hoot. I found notes from friends in High School. I found three diaries. I found books to share with my boys...I found jewelry that should NEVER have been available for purchase. I found an entire box of cassette tapes...Incredible! So here are a few of my favorite treasures...or at least the ones that gave me the biggest smiles...

 

First I pulled out these two books.  They were part of my Grandma Dort's collection. 

The memories flood back!

Our family went on a couple trips to the beaches in Florida. Impressed that these moved from Sheboygan, to Williams Bay, to Minnesota!  And they weren't broken!

The boys were very interested in the jewelry boxes...there were two.  This one was the most interesting.  One item I am really wondering about is tucked in back on the bottom level...

Why on earth did I have matches?

Or these horrendous earrings!

And this pin!  I remember this pin...WHY ON EARTH would I EVER WEAR THIS!  

And Maybe this is why I didn't date anyone in high school!

Oh gosh - does this item bring back heartache and pain. 

Yearning to be given one of these...or the turmoil of who would complete your circle...

I am rolling my eyes right now and smiling really big because I have two boys! YES!  We won't have to deal with this - I don't think...

  

Charley loved this jewelry box and the umbrella...it has a ballerina inside that spins with music.  I did point out the little girl on top....and then I realized - let him love it and fill it with treasures.  This is part of growing up -  finding treasures from your parents past.

Amazing how some books you NEVER forget!

Love that I still have this!

And this pencil was a favorite.  I REMEMBER IT!  The eraser is almost used up.  I remember it writing wonderfully and sharpening like a dream.  

  

This AWESOME cassette tape was one of 100's in this box:

YIKES!  If you loved mix tapes...you would be in heaven!

I even found one called "Depression 101"....what the heck was that all about?

I took those 8 boxes...and I now have 1 box that will be stored in the basement.  I have two boxes that will be donated.  And I had two bags of garbage.  I also had a small shoebox full of notes, diaries, letters, postcards, and more mementos to read through and enjoy!  

I am proud of myself for the hard work I have put in this past week.  We'll see what more I can find to chuck or donate this week. My goal right now is to have our living area filled with items that function with purpose in our life.  And I want our nooks and crannies to be filled with the items that are precious or hold memories...not junk :)

Doing this type of cleaning is exhausting.  My mind is tired...remembering such a wonderful childhood....and realizing how fast the time flies and how quickly the crap accumulates :)

On my mind this week...

This past week I watched an episode of Oprah that discussed the movie Food, Inc. Here is a trailer for the movie. Just these 3 minutes can shake you and make you think!



Her show also had Michael Pollan, Author of the book The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals. He also has other amazing books - NONE of them I have read. I know my brother speaks very highly of this man and his thoughts.

I was very impressed with how Oprah approached the topics. She did not make you feel "bad" for the choices you make. She admits to enjoying meat - while featuring people who swear by vegan diets. Her goal is always to bring an awareness to the topic she shares. And this show she brought an awareness of food and eating in America. After this episode I had so many thoughts running through my head. My heart was pounding because this topic can be sooo overwhelming. As a person who loves to eat and someone who wants to eat healthy I will totally admit that ignorance is a little bliss in this area of life. I have not seen the movie yet, partly because I think it will be too much for me to digest and I will be so overwhelmed with all that I DON'T do or what I CAN'T do. There are so many obstacles to eating healthy - money, time, children, convenience, resources, and knowledge.

After much thought I decided to feel good about the choices I make.

• We buy eggs that are produced from cage free birds that aren't treated with antibiotics and hormones (I know these birds get to run around - that they CAN run around, because they are being fed diets that give them strength). 

• We are not the house to be at for snack time. I do buy several processed snacks for my boys but I also love to bake with them and I believe, eating a piece of homemade banana bread or even a homemade chocolate chip cookie is way healthier than a bag of fruit snacks. 

• We do our best buying organic milk. I am very adamant that our boys drink organic milk (although, lately Charley has been drinking regular milk). However, after being reminded of the reasons why I buy organic I will be buying organic milk from now on. 

• In the summer we visit the farmer's market and enjoy local produce and I now try to freeze and can things so that we are enjoying them all winter long with out worries of preservatives or pesticides. 

• I appreciate the fresh veggies and the little bit of time it takes to prepare it knowing that we are getting something real and not processed and canned. (I do buy canned goods too - but I always opt for the fresh.)

• And I believe I have challenged myself lately to make more homemade items like mac and cheese, popcorn in our popper, bread, and jam.  This week Charley and I are going to give bagels a try.  I figure this will keep Charley and I busy for an entire afternoon.  We will use this recipe that another blog I came across this weekend shared.

I have been writing about shopping frugal and I realized that being frugal does not mean letting go of standards and health. One of the facts they shared on Oprah was the fact that a box of candy or a bag of chips is often times cheaper than a pear. And buzzing through a drive thru to pick up a happy meal is cheaper than going to the store and buying a package of strawberries. I do take my kids for happy meals - from time to time. However,  I am proud of myself for always having fresh fruit and veggies in our fridge. 

Michael Pollan, who has spent 20 years reporting on food, shared five of his many rules for eating:

1: Eat food .

2: Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.

3: Avoid food products containing ingredients that a third-grader cannot pronounce.

4: Eat only foods that will eventually rot.

5: Eat all the junk food you want as long as you cook it yourself.

All of these rules make sense.  They are easy to understand.  I am going to think about them this coming week.

We can not afford to buy all organic or free range raised meat. But I am vowing to make sure that during my frugal grocery shops I will make sure that I am making choices that are quality and sound with my beliefs.

It is about being aware and being okay with the choices we make. And even if it is just one meal or one item that we choose to think differently about - we are taking a stand and voting for food that is produced to a standard of our desire.


If you missed this episode of Oprah and want to read up on what you missed you can go here.  I am just sharing something that really made me think this past week.  It is something huge and too overwhelming to take on all at once.  But it is something that I want to remember and start considering.  Just. considering.  I do not judge the choices that other people make whether they spend all their money on organic or if they choose to not buy any.  And it isn't only about organic...you can shop local, fresh, free range, etc.  It is a choice - that is what is so fantastic about living in America - YOU have the right to choose  - and what you eat is a choice you make 3 times a day 365 days a year!

Mamas Know Best...

I was sitting with a few moms the other day discussing our kids and we noticed that while talking about an issue one of us was having we all immediately started with the "Well, maybe it is because...." statements.

Then we realized what we were doing and all laughed because as moms we are always looking for reasons for our child's behaviors... always trying to be smart and tuned in with our child's needs.  If we can explain it, we think it will make it all better...which it doesn't always - but sometimes it does calm our anxieties.  It allows us to know that we are doing our best to be the mothers that our children need.

And let's be honest -- there is great satisfaction in thinking...."Maybe it is an ear infection."  Then taking them in and telling the doctor that we think it is an ear infection, and after their inspection they CONFIRM our DIAGNOSIS that it is in fact an ear infection.  I could literally skip out of a doctor's office if I go in thinking something and leave with the diagnosis I was predicting.  Sooo satisfying!  Why is that? I guess it proves that as a mom I know my child. 
    
Here are a few ways Henry stumps me and here are some of my possible explanations...am I correct?  Probably not!  But for some reason...thinking it all out is what quite a bit of my energy is spent doing during the day. 



Every night before I say goodnight to Henry he looks up at me and I say, "Tomorrow (followed by a pause)." 

And he says, "Santa?"  

And I have to explain, "No, Santa only comes once a year."  

If I ever suggest that someone is coming over or visiting his first response is, "Santa?"  He says it like a question. 

Possible Explanation:  This year around the holidays we never made it to sit on Santa's lap...usually a traumatic experience for the 2-year-old age group.  Since the big fat man in the red suit didn't traumatize him, he sees him only as the magical jolly man that he actually is.

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Henry is partaking in two ECFE classes, one on Thursday in the neighboring district, and one in our district on Fridays.  He is a different kid at both classes.  On Thursdays he is shy and won't interact with any of the adults (even some of the moms who have been with us for over a year).  He won't participate in the circle time, although he does sit well and is so spellbound.  He barely plays with anything and he clings to my leg.  

But at the Friday class he plays and talks.  Today he walked in and proudly showed them the shirt he was wearing.  During circle time he did the motions to the songs.  During snack time he realized that I was going to leave and he was a little saddened.  But he kept his eyes on Ms. Shari and he played and laughed...I know this because of the two- way window.  Why is he such a different kid...could it be the more stimulating environment, the more options of play, and the teachers....

Possible Explanation:  Or could it be that on Thursdays Charley comes with.  We drop him off in a sibling care room and then journey on to Henry's classroom.  During the entire class, at every transition Henry says, "Charley?" I wonder if he is so stressed about where Charley is that he can't relax.  Who knows...but it is just a thought. 




Being a mom is tough; your mind is always working.  You are constantly making decisions based on what you think your little ones need.  This week my sister was having an issue with her little E-bug and she called me while I was with a good friend.  After I gave my her my sisterly two cents of advice, I got off the phone and relayed the issue to my friend, who has four kids.  She has to have experienced everything with four kiddos.  She of course, like all of us, had a couple of ideas...and even later called me to give me another suggestion.  What a good friend to continue to think about my little sister.

But the point - we mamas are in it together.  We are all about supporting and trying to know the answer to making our lives easier.  We are there for each other to brainstorm and make sense of the thrills and loops that this roller coaster of motherhood throws our way.

Who would have thought...

When we got married we registered for a bread machine....because doesn't everyone register for a bread machine.  Well we got one!  It has taken up a lot of space in our kitchen cupboards.  I used it a few times with box mixes.  But it has spent the majority of our 7 years together deep in a cupboard.

However, I would like to let EVERYONE know that our bread machine has been getting a little use.  I have now mastered a yummy oatmeal bread that is perfect for toasting.  And this weekend I mastered (ha, like I can say I mastered it....well I am going to) a loaf of french bread.  I make the dough in the bread machine.  Then I let it rise outside of the machine and bake it in the shape that I want...instead of the stubby loaf that the machine makes.  Here is the proof:

Shaping it into a loaf!

Letting it rise!

Yipee!

Served with Meatball Soup - compliments of Jessie's hard work....meal group rocks!

Ed just kept shaking his head at me on Saturday mid morning.  I was soooooo excited to watch it rise and then bake perfectly!  I let out multiple squeals at different points in the process! 

So what wedding gift do you need to brush the dust off....or what wedding gift has really been a favorite?

Summer days - long gone!

This is the time of year when I think back and remember feeling like I had the whole summer ahead of me. We would have plenty of days to play in the sandbox, run through the sprinkler, stop at a park, go for walks, blow bubbles, and play with chalk.

Now is the time when I wonder - why didn't we stop at the parks more. We never drew the big board game with chalk on the driveway. We hardly ran through the sprinkler and the sandbox didn't get enough time with us. We walked a ton but we should have walked more. And there were friends that we never spent a summer day with...like we planned (Kimmer).


This is the time of year when I love the cozy dark evenings, yet hate that Ed often doesn't see our house in the daylight (since he often leaves before the sun is up and gets home after the sun is down). I love the leaves changing and falling, but it also means colder temperatures - which means kneeling down, helping with shoes (no more sandals ), zipping jackets, recovering lost mittens from odd nuks around the house, and the hat battle.

Here in Minnesota the winters are long. It takes a ton of effort to convince myself and the boys to get outside for some precious vitamin D time. But living in Minnesota also means you get surprise gorgeous days...when the sky is an endless blue, the wind is calm, and the sun warms your face. It is days like yesterday, today, and hopefully tomorrow when it takes a little less effort to bundle up and head out to enjoy the fresh air.

This morning before Charley went to preschool we played hide and seek among our trees. We waved goodbye to Chuck. Then I, in my pjs, pulled out a lawn chair and with my cup of cider sat and enjoyed Henry in his pjs puttering around with the rocks and his car. Fresh air! Sooo good. Last night we stopped at a park as the sun was setting...and boy does the air cool quickly. But the sun on the boys happy faces reminded me to take advantage of these last comfortable days of fall! Hopefully we have a few more this month.

Being present....

I always enjoy this blog. This month she posted: Gratitude + Contentment = Joy. All I can say is WOW! Such a good outlook on life.

Lately, I have had anxiety about many things - mostly involving the health and well being of my boys. There are other moments when I get caught up in the worry of keeping the house cleaned up, a healthy dinner on the table, the laundry kept up, correspondence with friends and family, playdates and outings that keep us busy, and so on. Then there are other moments when I am so busy analyzing if my choice of being home is the best thing for myself, my marriage, and my boys. All of these things can weigh heavy on my shoulders at spontaneous moments during the day.

My goal lately is to be present in the moment and to be present with my boys. Slowing down, getting down at their level, taking a break from the worries, the computer, the cleaning, and just playing. Sitting down at breakfast and chatting with them instead of unloading the dishwasher. Being present because even though it stresses me out to think of all the other things I need to get done...I always feel more happy and productive if I take time to just be a mama to my boys.

I am so grateful for these simple days. Making my boys meals, driving Charley to preschool, taking Henry to storytime, taking walks, watching them go from playing nicely to whining and driving me crazy. I am thankful for cozy pants and slipper days. I appreciate the friends and family that correspond, call to say hi, email a message....and it is my challenge to focus on this gratitude and contentment in life. Because like the blog reads...Joy is living in the moment with gratitude and contentment.

The month of November is a time to think grace. It is time to celebrate families, traditions, and time. If you had an extra hour in your day today what would you do with it? What gives you the feeling of contentment? What brings you joy? Share a thought and you will be in the running for a November treat....a jar of homemade applesauce and a little something else :) Become a follower and you will have your name in twice! You have until Saturday at 8pm to share.

These are the days...

Today my boys and I headed out to a nearby nature center for a class about pumpkins. It was a perfect fall activity. Inside the nature center the boys did puzzles, looked at seeds in various fruits and vegetables, dug out the insides of a large pumpkin, painted and did pumpkin stamping, built with logs and animals, did coloring sheets, heard a story, discussed seeds and how pumpkins grow. Then we headed outside for a 30 minute hike. We hunted for seeds and then got to find pumpkins that they hid in the prairie grasses. It was a wonderful morning out in nature. It inspired me to get my boys out there more often. Henry hiked his way through the forest all.by. himself. Charley chatted wisely with one of the instructors. I was in heaven. I can't wait to go back in November! It is times like this...when we are out of the house, spending time together, when I can focus on just being present with my boys...no laundry, cooking, cleaning, computers, phones to distract. Love these moments. These are the moments I don't want to forget.

My favorite jeans..

Unfortunately they aren't MINE! I have been working hard on walking almost 5 times a week for the last two months. I had said I would go jean shopping at the end of September...we are now verging on mid October and I am holding off on the jean shopping until I have some results. Very unmotivated this last week but am going to get motivated again today.

So the jeans...they would be Charley's old jeans and they now will be worn out by Henry. I got these jeans for Charley and he wore them so much. This weekend I got out my bins of Charley's 24month/2T clothing and had fun remembering him in many of the shirts and pants. I have realized that my favorite items that were Charley's aren't always my favorite on Henry. I also love getting Henry something new at the store or a garage sale because they are then "Henry's" and they look like Henry. However, these jeans! They will be loved on both my boys. If you see us often you will most likely see Henry in these jeans because I plan on having him wear them often. Yesterday he wore them...and I was in black sweat pants - kind of hit me how sad that he is in these cute jeans and I am schluffing around in black cozy pants. I AM GETTING on the elliptical today - even if it is for just 10 minutes...or we will go for a walk. It isn't supposed to rain again today. And until I can go jean shopping...I will enjoy my little stud in his jeans.

I Want this More Than Life -

Lately, I have started to have bouts of anxiety about my boys and the life that lies ahead of them. And "More than life" I would like them to live long and healthy lives. I even extend it to their children, my grandchildren. Will they have a healthy world to live in. I know I have always had the normal motherly anxiety about my boys, however, with the scares that my sister has been dealt lately, it has really forced me to see the possibilities and it is scary. That whole week when we didn't know that it was just a lab error I had trouble not feeling guilty for my healthy boys. What miracles they are and how I take them for granted many moments during the day, and even snap more than I should over little things that just desire more patience. My anxiety has increased and it sits like a bowling ball in my stomach and then rises and feels like a golf ball is stuck in my throat. My heart races and I panic. I want my boys to always be healthy and I want all those in my life to live a life of happiness and health. But yet the nightly news or friends of friends have stories that weigh on my heart and settle in an uneasy way in my head.

Yesterday I posted a question on facebook about the flu shot and the upcoming H1N1 vaccine and got such good feedback from friends from all corners of life....what they have heard, what they have done in the past, what they are thinking...and it was overwhelming. I believe in the vaccines but I also get sick to my stomach sitting there holding my little boys arms down so they can be injected with some concoction that will hopefully prevent illness. The other vaccines bother me but don't cause me the anxiety that the flu shots do. I think it is because each year it evolves into a different cocktail...and is never a sure thing. Anyways, many friends reminded me that I need to do what I think is right for my boys. So this morning we went and Charley got the flu mist for the first time (I had to hold him tight but he took it well) and Henry got the flu shot. He hated it. Afterwards, we were supposed to go to a playgroup that has supported me for the last two years but I felt overwhelmed and knew that a good walk and some quiet time with my boys was exactly what I needed.

So we went to a park reserve, walked a trail for an hour, and visited a nature center. It was perfect and just what I needed. I did miss my girlfriends and I can't wait to hang out with them next time! But this morning I knew what we needed.



So this anxiety I push down and tell myself, "I can't live worrying about things that are out of my control. Life is meant to be lived." And I pray that this anxiety continues to be passing moments that remind me to appreciate the now in my life. A mother's journey is tough and lately Ed has been working late and I am making the decisions for these boys all day on my own, I think that adds to the realization that I can only do so much. And that they will be okay as long as they are loved. No matter what happens and no matter what they have to tackle - they are loved today.

If I could have one wish today it would be that my boys live healthy long lives and that they get to bring their own little miracles into a safe wonderful world.

I want this more than life!

Their MINE!

Taken by Jennifer Bahn -summer 2009

The Days are Long but the Years Short

This article today really struck me. It is titled Ten Ways to Be a More Light-Hearted Parent. This short video tugs at your heart too. But to make you laugh...check this out (for this one hit the replay button it should be a cartoon). Enjoy!

Moments like these...

We recently got some fun mail. My Aunt Pat sent the boys a little hello note and in it she included some ice cream money. So today we ventured out to enjoy a cone. Thank you Aunt Pat for making our day! This outing caused us to slow down and enjoy each others company. It lasted about 45 minutes and it is moments like these when I really love being a mom.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A little 'nothing' is all we need.

After another busy weekend I found that my Henry wasn't feeling good. He hasn't napped normal in more than three days. He woke in early early obnoxiously early this morning. His nose began running yesterday afternoon and today it was like a faucet. After just a 45 minute snooze he woke up with a very disturbing cough so I rushed him to Urgent Care to get a handle on things. We are supposed to leave tomorrow to spend the week with my sister at my mom and dads. I began dreading the trip this morning in the obnoxiously early hour when Henry called out to me, "maaaamaaaa, maaaammaaaaa!"

After two hours at Urgent Care...we found out...nothing. So we will see how tonight goes, what tomorrow brings, and head to our regular doctor if needed. Disappointed am I that we are not voyaging down to my mom and dads. Always a fun adventure! Devastated is Charley when we told him. I will have to make this week ROCK! But most of all I think there was a little relief in my mom and sister's voice. All three of us have been running ragged with plans and even though this week would have been awesome ....we could all probably use a little "nothing." See here.

Mama Raina - I wish you a week of "nothing." Enjoy every peep that little smiley guy gives you. Mom, work hard, get your stuff done, enjoy your girls night on Tuesday and feel rested for your next fun weekend. And as for me...we will take things slow this week...board games, sprinkler parks, the library, the usual...with maybe a little more snuggle time and nap time for both boys. The summer is coming to a close faster than ever. We got Charley's teacher assignment and his meet the teacher date. Reality is hitting. Though saddened that our week of fun with Aunt Raina and cousin Eli is not going to work out this week - I know we will find the blessing in "nothing."

Pay attention so you don't miss the moments

I was talking with a friend recently and she was saying how they had been at the zoo all morning and it had gone perfect. They weren't rushed, they were able to leave without a tantrum, baby didn't have a blowout, nursing was needed when there was a bench in the shade...everything fell into place. She appreciated the outing and respected it! I totally understood. There are times when you step back during parenting and think - wow, I can't believe this is going so well. Or after the fact: wow- I can't believe that went that way.

Today was one of those days. We had the playdate at the sprinkler park and instead of plunking our crap by the park side we plunked by the sprinklers. I got Henry going with the sprinklers...and since we have been there often lately this is what I saw...



Yes folk! I got to sit on the towel with my friend Meg and talk about life while Charley was off running crazy and free. And my little man Henry! He actually ran up to me, told me "one more" and then took off to....




run through the sprinklers and then he came running right back to me to tell me one more time! I did take a moment and think to myself...this is an amazing moment. I respected the moment. I savored it. I am guessing on Monday when we hit the park again with other friends it will not go like this. But hey, I got it once and this I will take it.



Pay attention friends! Your children grace you with these moments periodically. Where everything from the wind, the temperature, a place to sit, the fellow children at play, and the company you are keeping are - perfect! You deserve these moments. I got this today. I wish you all many of them.