Big Brother Certified

This weekend we attended a "Big Brother/Big Sister Class."  The boys were pretty excited.  Charley remembered going to one before Henry was born.  They got to bring a doll or stuffed animal.  There was only one other girl in the class..so it was almost like a private lesson!  During the class the teacher talked about how the baby has grown in mama's belly.  Henry's face during this was priceless.  His brow was often furrowed and he looked puzzled. 

 During the class the boys (all three) got a lesson on diapering, swaddling, holding baby, and protecting babies head.

 She went over how a baby enters the world...glad she took care of that and am still fearing more questions about that.  But so far they have not asked about any more of that topic. 

After the class we got to go over to the hospital and get a quick tour of one of the recovery rooms.  As soon as we walked into the entrance Ed and I started sharing what we remembered about coming for Henry's arrival.  My emotions poured forth and it took everything in me not to cry through the whole tour.  Remembering...

Entering the hospital and having to bend over and brace myself along the wall to breathe through contractions.
Riding the elevator in pain.
oh, it just all came flooding back. 

Then the music played, signaling that a baby had been born, and the tears started to pour...but yet I pushed them down.

When we stepped into a recovery room to show the boys where mama would be staying it hit me that the hospital is not a spa and the bed is bare bones, the walls are bare etc. 

Then they broke the news that things have changed since Henry was born and babies 'room in' now even more...the option of sending them to the nursery at night so you can get some sleep without feeling like you are listening to every little sound is no longer an option.  We had the boys in our room for most of our time at the hospital - but man, when you go home it is all you and so I did learn that getting a little sleep at the hospital was an opportunity not to miss.  So it will be interesting how this stay goes.  I might feel more anxious to just get home in more ways this time around. 

After leaving the hospital I was a basket case for most of the rest of the day.  My anxiety over the labor and delivery is now at it's peek.  (Yes, sister I am just as anxious as the last two pregnancies). It is a hard thing to go through and I know it is hard for Ed to watch and not be able to fix.  It is exhausting.  And being my third, I know what is ahead, I know I will most likely survive it (yes, I have an irrational fear that I won't), and I know the hard things in life are the things that build us and change us and make us stronger. 

So here we are on Monday.  No news to share.  No signs of any changes in the near future.  I must say that all the emails and comments lately have been so fun.  Blogging this journey has been pure joy and I appreciate all of your thoughts.

38 weeks...

38 weeks.

And each evening I cozy up with my laptop, my remote, or my book.

And I wait.

I wait for the kicking and thumping and rolling to calm.

For you to fall asleep. 

And yet, there is part of me that says, keep moving baby.  

This is it.  

You and me. 

I share you with no one right now. 

25 weeks...KA POW!

Obviously, I need to clean the bathroom mirror.

So I have had an off day.  Just feeling like everything I say comes out or across wrong.  My self-esteem seems to have nose dived.  And yet, I know life is good.  So I am not sure where the funk came from.  I think part of it is that this pregnancy is flying by now and I know that this is our last planned baby.  Which means this is my last time with this bump and these kicks and all of the excitement that comes along with it.  And I think it has me panicked.  I am also not ready to be living on lack of sleep and the anxiety that comes along with that is hard - I fear the impact the lack of sleep will have on the boys, my marriage, and me, a functioning stay at home mom.  Ed assures me it will all go great.  So I will have faith that he knows me and our family. 

So this morning Henry and I went on a search for a few new maternity tops.  Part of enjoying this last pregnancy is not just looking like a giant tent in over sized t-shirts.  Granted - I obviously am still very tent like.  But having a cute pair of jeans does help.  And yet as I hand over the payment for the items I feel sick because it is only 15 weeks that I need these special items.  How lovely though is it that my husband responds to my email explaining my little maternity shopping spree with a "sounds good."  So supportive.  

The boys and I ran to the library and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and almost tripped over my own two feet.  Maybe my funk is from the fact that I feel like my belly has exploded in the last 24 hours.  Most likely it is just the shirt (thank you sister Raina)...but I feel like I now have an extra appendage that could swipe a glass of a table.  And I now get that in the weeks ahead I am going to even get bigger. 

Anyways, the funk will pass.  I can feel it.  Ed said he would be home early.  I have a chocolate creme pie thawing.  The boys have been wonderful today.  We have fun weekend plans.  And I have touched base with many friend in the last few days and they all have happy and exciting things going on.  Thinking of friends who are on scrap booking retreats with girlfriends, a friend getting farther along on her pregnancy, a friend who is set for the many boyscout patches her son is about to earn, and the list goes on.  

Life is good.  I am going to shake this funk and tomorrow is a new day - and I won't be in a funk...but rather some new jeans and maybe a new maternity top. 

24 weeks and a hello to summer...

Fall arrived a week or so ago...but today summer returns.  

The temperatures are supposed to reach record highs in the 80's for this time of year. 

It is kind of a gift...but I had resigned to not seeing my barefeet anymore.

Last weekend I got to enjoy the cozy of my Uggs.

We hiked in the woods. 

We enjoyed the brisk Northern Wisconsin fresh air.

Now today we are back to needing flip flops and shaved legs. 

And as a woman who is now 25 weeks pregnant...I wouldn't mind not needing to shave my legs more than once a week...or once a month, haha!  

Luckily, I can still see my toes.  

Baby Belly

For the Love of Jelly Beans!

The Jelly Bean growing in my belly has decided to grow a bit and since this belly of mine has expanded for two other little miracles...I guess it knows what it is doing...at least that is what I am telling myself.  This morning I went back to look at pictures of my belly at 20 weeks with Charley and basically there was no belly yet. My belly today looks like my belly around 25-27 weeks with Charley. FRIGHTENING! What am I going to look like at 30 weeks....or 37 weeks? AHHHH!

Anyways, depending on what I wear I think I can look more or less pregnant.  Last night at a soccer game another gal wass pregnant and due January 18th...she couldn't tell I was pregnant.  I have two dresses that I have enjoyed wearing this first chunk of the journey and now with some belly showing I can tell that the dresses make me look more pregnant than I am...because I can still fit into my normal jeans...etc. Anyways...enough of me trying to rationalize that I am not going to explode around Thanksgiving time...

And I am betting that in the very near future I will have bangs.  I can not stand this growing out process and every time I wear a headband or pony tail holder to tie them out of my face, Henry looks at me with an unsure face and repeatedly asks me "what dat mama?" 

Confirming - Three it is!

Well, here goes!

We are expecting our third little miracle come January 2011!

I have hinted and pondered fun ways to announce. Many have emailed guesses. We have shared with many "real life" friends and family and I can't hold it in any longer. Henry is going to be a big brother. Charley is going to be an even bigger brother.

I have waited to share on here because Ed has a couple buddies he was excited to tell...but he is having a hard time getting a hold of them so he said go for it. They most likely don't read our blog anyways. Sad for him - but I know his buddies will share the good news when they connect.

Baby will arrive late January...projected at this point between January 24th and January 30th (putting me at almost 10 weeks!).   Henry will be a solid 3 years and one month. Charley was 3 years and 3 months when Henry arrived. So spacing is about the same! We had an ultrasound and confirmed one miracle.

Both boys are excited and Henry shares that there is "baby in mama's belly" to those that we see. I don't think he really gets it yet.

On our list for the next 7 months...

1. Get rid of his nuk.
2. Potty train.
3. Move him to big boy bed.
4. Transition the boys to being roommates...with possible bunk beds! The actual bunking will be a reward...earned when they are falling asleep and waking without disrupting each other.

I have felt like crap the last 5-6 weeks. Not actually vomiting ...but an all day nausea that is impacting my life way too much. So that blog post regarding an inconvenience....the inconvenience is the morning sickness - NOT the baby. The baby is a gift...the morning sickness is NOT.   I have also been napping - thanks to my little Charley for being patient and allowing this to happen.

The house is a wreck - but I figure I am growing a brain and 10 fingers and toes and as long as the boys are enjoying the summer and we are all surviving - then that is all that matters. So laundry is out of control and meals are really lacking in the effort and nutrition areas. I have started to feel better though so things are going to get back on track.

Ed would probably like to find out the sex of this little joy but I wanted to go through all this one more time for the joy and surprise of it all. I really enjoy that this one thing in life is out of our control and so HUGE. I think not knowing builds so much excitement and anticipation for me, Ed, and our family and friends.

I started blogging after Charley and Henry were born. So I am excited to document this pregnancy a little more. Although with the lack of energy these days I just can't bring myself to sitting down like I used to. But blogging makes me happy. It is my hobby and little thing that I do for myself. The connections I have started making are so important to me and I love sharing the excitement of this with my online friends. So I am vowing to make a little more time for this again. It gives me happiness.

So Kiddy Cocktails will be my drink of choice this summer.

The number 3 is the new 2 in our house!

Cheers!