Friday, January 29, 2010

Mamas Know Best...

I was sitting with a few moms the other day discussing our kids and we noticed that while talking about an issue one of us was having we all immediately started with the "Well, maybe it is because...." statements.

Then we realized what we were doing and all laughed because as moms we are always looking for reasons for our child's behaviors... always trying to be smart and tuned in with our child's needs.  If we can explain it, we think it will make it all better...which it doesn't always - but sometimes it does calm our anxieties.  It allows us to know that we are doing our best to be the mothers that our children need.

And let's be honest -- there is great satisfaction in thinking...."Maybe it is an ear infection."  Then taking them in and telling the doctor that we think it is an ear infection, and after their inspection they CONFIRM our DIAGNOSIS that it is in fact an ear infection.  I could literally skip out of a doctor's office if I go in thinking something and leave with the diagnosis I was predicting.  Sooo satisfying!  Why is that? I guess it proves that as a mom I know my child. 
Here are a few ways Henry stumps me and here are some of my possible I correct?  Probably not!  But for some reason...thinking it all out is what quite a bit of my energy is spent doing during the day. 

Every night before I say goodnight to Henry he looks up at me and I say, "Tomorrow (followed by a pause)." 

And he says, "Santa?"  

And I have to explain, "No, Santa only comes once a year."  

If I ever suggest that someone is coming over or visiting his first response is, "Santa?"  He says it like a question. 

Possible Explanation:  This year around the holidays we never made it to sit on Santa's lap...usually a traumatic experience for the 2-year-old age group.  Since the big fat man in the red suit didn't traumatize him, he sees him only as the magical jolly man that he actually is.


Henry is partaking in two ECFE classes, one on Thursday in the neighboring district, and one in our district on Fridays.  He is a different kid at both classes.  On Thursdays he is shy and won't interact with any of the adults (even some of the moms who have been with us for over a year).  He won't participate in the circle time, although he does sit well and is so spellbound.  He barely plays with anything and he clings to my leg.  

But at the Friday class he plays and talks.  Today he walked in and proudly showed them the shirt he was wearing.  During circle time he did the motions to the songs.  During snack time he realized that I was going to leave and he was a little saddened.  But he kept his eyes on Ms. Shari and he played and laughed...I know this because of the two- way window.  Why is he such a different kid...could it be the more stimulating environment, the more options of play, and the teachers....

Possible Explanation:  Or could it be that on Thursdays Charley comes with.  We drop him off in a sibling care room and then journey on to Henry's classroom.  During the entire class, at every transition Henry says, "Charley?" I wonder if he is so stressed about where Charley is that he can't relax.  Who knows...but it is just a thought. 

Being a mom is tough; your mind is always working.  You are constantly making decisions based on what you think your little ones need.  This week my sister was having an issue with her little E-bug and she called me while I was with a good friend.  After I gave my her my sisterly two cents of advice, I got off the phone and relayed the issue to my friend, who has four kids.  She has to have experienced everything with four kiddos.  She of course, like all of us, had a couple of ideas...and even later called me to give me another suggestion.  What a good friend to continue to think about my little sister.

But the point - we mamas are in it together.  We are all about supporting and trying to know the answer to making our lives easier.  We are there for each other to brainstorm and make sense of the thrills and loops that this roller coaster of motherhood throws our way.

1 comment:

Meghan said...

I hear ya! Just today I spent the morning trying to figure out why my daughter, who was the only one excited about story hour at the book store, cried off and on the entire time we were there. It always boils down to WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?! And then I try reminding myself she is three, and three-year-olds are moody and cry and that made me feel better. . . for about 2 minutes.


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