Slow Reflections #3 - Family Mealtime

One of the ways that the Slow Family Living Handbook encourages families to slow down is with family mealtime.  I have written on my blog before the importance of this time of the day for our family.  It may not happen 7 nights of the week but it happens more nights than it doesn't.  I recently came across this website called The Power of Family Meals.  On this site it states:

"In study after study, the beneficial impact of family mealtime has been demonstrated for children of all ages. Better grades, healthier eating habits, closer relationships to parents and siblings, ability to resist negative peer pressure, resilience in the face of life's problems — all these are outcomes of simply sharing dinner on a regular basis."

It then goes on to give statistics on why Family Meal time Matters.  

The website gives a number of good resources for recipes, meals and menus, and other meal time tips.

One of the links offers conversation starters.

Do you have a fun tradition, rule, or tip that is an important part of your family mealtime ritual?

P.S.  There is a great giveaway opportunity coming up on my blog- a chance to win a $50 gift-card to any of CSNs 200 online stores...anything from home decor, to shoes, to cookware.  Stay tuned!

How do we make family dinner happen...most nights!

This week the family meal is on my brain.  So today I thought I would share how we make a family dinner work most nights.  Here are just a few my thoughts on family dinner time. 

TIMING:  Ed and I communicate on when he thinks he will be home that evening.  Sometimes he runs late becuase of his commute and that means from time to time that we have to eat without him.  But most nights he is able to give me a rough estimate and I use this to begin planning.

FLEXIBILITY:  If our dinner hour is going to be normal then we go about our afternoon like normal.  But if I know he is going to be later ...then I organize our late afternoon activities and snacks so that this hard time between naps and dinner goes as smooth as possible.  Moving snack later and going on an outing like the library or the park helps.

FIRM:  I am NOT a short order cook. I make one meal and that is what we will all eat - if we choose. AS THE ADULT I believe my job is to decide:

What food is offered.

When the food is offered.

Where it will be eaten.

And my boys can go from there and decide:

  If they will eat.

What they will eat.

How much they will eat.

However, because I don't make my boys something different than the main meal, I do make sure that within the meal presented there is something that I know they like...whether it be the maindish or a side dish.  If I am making something new and "scary" then I make sure to provide at least one side dish that is safe and "not scary".  Last night my boys ate a TON of cantelope and not too much of the main dish...which was fine with me.

Fun:  Talk, laugh, and enjoy the time together.  Ask about your days - Peeks and Valleys or favorite parts.  Teach your children to talk among themselves while mommy and daddy talk about something "adult".  Pick a topic to discuss like summer fun, sports, their favorite toy, dream vacations.  Talk about worries or use the time to go over safety information...fire drills, answering the phone, stranger danger.  Enjoy the quiet and let your children be a little silly or lead the conversation.  Have everyone come to the table with a fact to share or a joke to tell (decide the night before so there is time to prepare).  Take turns saying prayer or go around and give thanks.  Eat out on the picnic table or on a blanket in your yard. 


A little thought can make things flow and make this time of your day the best!  Does it have to happen EVERY night- Nope!  But in our house, we make an effort and we are starting early so that it is an expectation when the nights roll around when the boys are older - making their own plans and having their own commitments.  I figure, if we make it a habit and we make it fun - then it will be something they don't want to miss. 

This is linked to Tuesday's Unwrapped and 30 Minute Blog Challenge.

Packing my boys a lunch!

Now that I am a parent I have moments where I think back to my childhood and wonder why/how my mom chose to do certain things.   How she made her choices and why she made them?

Tonight I turned on the TV and caught Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution...it begins next Friday! So tonight they must be previewing it to get people talking.   LOVE THAT!  It has the potential to ROCK this country to a core! ONLY IF PEOPLE TAKE TIME TO WATCH!

My mom packed our lunches from grade school through high school.   She still packs my dad a lunch.   I did get to pick one day a week for hot lunch in elementary school.  I remember sitting down for lunch as a sophomore with a lunch that looked unlike most of my friends' lunches (they had a pop and bag of pretzels).   My mom always made sure our lunch included a sandwich, some fruit (I remember the baggie of orange pieces that she sliced up), a crunchy something, and a little dessert. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

Tonight as I watched Jaime show what goes on in the lunch room of many schools in the USA, I am IN AWE that my mom made this incredibly healthy choice for us that I know helped me be the healthy eater that I am today, when there was an easy lunch ticket option.  And she made our lunches fun with notes and surprises from time to time.  The time and discipline to make 4 lunches EVERY. SINGLE. DAY boggles my mind. I try to make my husband's lunch every once in a while but I fail - ALL TOO OFTEN.

I have a really hard time watching these kinds of things - they overwhelm me. Especially when children, who don't know and don't have the power to make healthier choices for themselves, are involved.

I have always planned to make my boys' lunches when they are school age.   And watching tonight's show just solidified this goal for myself.  Friday night the show premieres! Watch it - give it a chance! I know I will be watching!

And Jaime Oliver ended the show saying something along the lines about helping this community learn to take some ingredients, make some real food, SIT DOWN TOGETHER and break bread.
...making my point about family meal time - real - important.  I hope the mom from last Friday, who thinks obesity comes from making dinnertime social, takes time to watch this show. 

Keeping this short!  Here is a blip about the show.

Getting it off my chest - Family Meal Time

This morning at Henry's ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education), the parent discussion topic was picky eaters. The facilitator was going over the list of ways in which we can help keep our children from being picky eaters and how to work with our picky eaters to keep expanding their world of food. I truly believe our children are born with some of their eating habits - Charley ate EVERYTHING and Henry is very picky. I did very little different with them from the start. But I do believe there are things we do as parents that can emphasize picky eating habits or help our children move onto stretching their diet horizons.

One of the points made this morning focused on sitting down and making meal time social. One of the moms brought up that this makes her uncomfortable because she thinks one of the problems with obesity in America results from thinking of eating as a social experience - and I understood where she was coming from. Lots of social is associated with eating. I only got a second to think about my response and when it got to me I did have a second to share my view - but on my drive home I got frustrated that I didn't have a chance to explain my ideas further - and I know the facilitator didn't get to either. So here is my thinking:

My issue with kids and obesity revolves more around snacks. I pointed out that today most mom's can whip out at least 1 and sometimes 3 snacks from her purse at any moment. I have done it - when I need them occupied in a waiting room, when they are whining in the car, when they ask at a park etc. I really, truly think, that family dinners are not to blame! So strongly - I can't begin to tell you how strongly.

There are children that graze all day - on healthy and unhealthy choices but they never sit down and eat a balanced meal with conversation and table manners. And yes, maybe what they are consuming is more healthy in many instances - but, for most children, snacking is not the healthiest food intake of their day.

I will admit that I do not sit down with my children at breakfast and lunch every day. I know I probably should. However, this is my chance to get the kitchen cleaned up, laundry switched etc. My boys chatter away and their relationship grows with every meal.

Family dinner time for me has always been about our family (mama, daddy, Charley, and now Henry) sitting down together at dinner time. One mom countered that her family spends plenty of time with each other so meal time isn't important.

Yes, we spend plenty of time together.  I, for sure, spend my whole day with my boys. However, I do not spend my whole day looking at them, asking them questions about their day, letting them see me ask their daddy how his day was etc.  Family dinner to me is about a balanced meal, conversation revolving around sharing and problem solving, table manners, learning how to converse and sit quiet.

I know that at this age we also get this conversation time with our little ones before bed - BUT, when my boys are 10 or 15.... I am thinking I won't be tucking them in at night and having some cozy conversation cuddled up after reading a book or two. So when else am I going to get them to sit down DAILY, showing them that they have a FAMILY that supports and cares for them. I am plan on depending on family meal time as our chance to remind our children that we are here, we are strong, we are grounded, and we CARE ABOUT THEIR DAILY LIVES! And when sports and evening activities start to invade our family meal time - adjustments will be made - but they will ALWAYS KNOW that dinner will be served in our house. And their mom and dad will be waiting, ready to listen.

This is how I grew up and I really believe it gives a family a strong foundation. Yes, there are instances where a parent works in the evening or children have extra curricular activities - I would make adjustments and make weekend meals a priority or make sure to have breakfast with them...or set up a family meeting time.

But if family dinners can work in your family- take the opportunity and don't waste the chance. It can be a life long opportunity to connect with your children - and in today's day of technology and lifestyle - connections are key for children when making the healthy choices in life.

Do you do anything fun with family meal time to make it fun or special? Or do you have a different opinion on family meal time? PLEASE SHARE!  I have more posts related to family dinner time coming in the next week!


Welcome friends from NEW FRIEND FRIDAY...thanks for visiting.