The Little Things...

Miss Morgan in the stroller with Sydney!

Miss Morgan in the bath with Sydney.

Miss Morgan feeding Sydney!

And once again Miss Morgan smiled when I pulled my camera out.  Even when she was WAY across the park.

Hey Cousins?!!!!  Turn and smile!



Perfect.



Miss Morgan made the long trek to visit this weekend.  These visits are always WAY too fast and I always worry afterwards that they didn't have enough fun.  But then I look at the pictures and realize that it is the little things that make the weekend worth it.  There isn't a need for a bit outing or a grand activity.  Just hanging out in the yard.  Walking to the park.  Taking baths together.  Reading books.  Eating.  And just hanging out. 

I am an Aunt.  But I was a mom first.  And that sometimes makes me sad.  I think I missed out on JUST getting to focus on being an Aunt.  When we get together with Eli or Morgan I am still so busy just keeping my three in line that I don't get to just sit down and putter with them.  I work it in.  But it doesn't happen as easily.  Uncle Mike and Aunt Raina both have been exceptional Aunts and Uncles to my children.  And I am sure they can now see how being an Aunt with children is different than being an Aunt without.  It doesn't change the amount of love.  It doesn't change the desire to know and spend time with the niece or nephew.  But it just changes the amount of energy and freedom you have. 

This weekend I saw my window of opportunity and I grabbed it.  Uncle Mike was involved a tense Lego board game with Ed and the boys.  Sydney was napping and Aunt Becca went off to shower.  So I scooped up Miss Morgan and "Baby Big Arms" (You'll understand when you see the pictures) and we headed out for some Godmother/Goddaughter time. 

We walked.

We found worms.

And we pushed Baby Big Arms in the swing.

Oh how I wish we lived closer so I could steal her away for little outings and adventures.  But I guess we just have to focus on the anticipated visits and the treasured moments we do get every once in a while. 

The biggest smiles from the weekend came...

-after the kiddos were all in bed and a babysitter popped in so the four of us could go for a late sushi dinner.  HOW FUN!  

AND

- just before they left when the rakes came out and the leaves went flying.  Stay tuned for those pictures later this week. 

hello monday.

hello toes.

hello bows.



hello little girl about to crawl.

Hello winter....good-bye fall.

hello preschool Halloween party day.

hello little preschool buddies.

hello backpack that makes mama smile.

hello week and all the adventures that lay ahead of us.

Today:

Chili on the stove.

Orange finger jello cut out like pumpkins.

Trick or Treating as a family (Wow, my only Halloween with a 9 month old, 3 year old, and just turned 7 year old).

Focusing on the moments today and not the sugar consumption, the clock at bedtime, or the 100's of other things I always think I should be doing.

This is linked up here!

Staying organized: Give yourself an hour on Sundays

One of the discussions during the Power of Moms retreat revolved around moms feeling overloaded. And one of the ways they encourage you to feel less overloaded and stay in control of the load you carry as the mama of the household...is to take time to plan. I know the more I plan, the less stressed and the happier and smoother things go.

When I know what lies ahead of me each day, week, month...I can better make time so I am not booking us every weekend. I am balancing outings with quiet time at home each week. I am able to allow enough time daily so that when we are leaving the house we have plenty of time for dawdling and distractions.

One way to have that plan is to set aside time where you can concentrate and get things straight in your head for the week ahead. Ideally, you don't have to wait until the kiddos are in bed and you are ready to zone out yourself. But Sundays are family days for me. And I hate to think of ditching the family time. But giving yourself an hour on Saturday or Sunday to sit down with your calendar and make sure you have everything clear in your head. Sitting down with your notebook and thinking out your goals for the week. Taking a moment to think out your meals. You might go through your "important" pile so that you have forms filled out and a list of calls you need to make.

So this Sunday I sat down with my paper/pencil calendar and iPhone calendar and laid out my week. I have used these to organize my week for the last two years.  And I took an hour to get things straight in my head.    

So this Sunday I used my time to...

1.  Fill in my week planner and jot down on a post it note any dates and times that are important for Ed to know.

2.  Plan the meals for the week (chili, salmon, tatortot hotdish, homemade mac and cheese).   Set out the November hot lunch menu so Charley can look at it and pick his four days on Monday morning. 

3.  Set two goals for myself...
     a.  I am going to take some time to think out more finger foods that Sydney can enjoy.
     b.  I am going to pay attention to our after school routine and try a few different things (snack ready to go, homework right away, homework in the morning, cartoon, etc).  So that by Friday the boys and I can identify the flow to our afternoons and I can see a possible tradition that might appear in our after school chaos time.

4.  Decide on a couple little projects/activities for the kids and I to conquer during the week...For Henry:  writing the letter N, arranging the letters in his name in the correct order, sorting candy and identifying the numbers 1-10.  For Charley:  getting into the habit of mastering his first week having spelling words, and continuing to write birthday thank you notes.  For Sydney:  The girl will be crawling by Friday.  I fear feel it.

5.  I also worked on a few posts for my blog.

Last week after returning from my trip I didn't sit down and think out my week.  And even though I had a really great week.  I had some overloaded moments when... on Wednesday I realized Henry had a holiday party and he needed a costume.  On Friday I was in a panic over getting to Target for groceries to feed our guests this weekend.

How do you attempt to be more organized when you look to the upcoming week?
What is on your agenda for the week?  Goals? Activities? Meals?

My weekend away...

Last weekend I flew off for a weekend away to attend a Power of Moms Retreat.  I want to remember it all.  I tried my best to soak up every single moment.  From the bustle of the airport to meeting up with my friend Sarah at the baggage claim.  Trekking and finding out what our mystery rental car was and driving 2 hours in the dark across the state  to our quaint home away from home for three days. 

My anxiety was high regarding the whole leaving Sydney thing.  My anticipation was huge because I haven't really done this big of a get away since the kids were born.  My expectations were enormously high and I was so afraid I would be disappointed - since I had built so much up in my head about what I wanted to take away from this weekend.  I also had a lot of fear...I was afraid that hanging out with some amazing women who were deliberate about their parenting would leave me feeling like a not great mom.  BUT - the weekend was wonderful and met expectations.  And the take away...has been so radical.  There was not a single moment when I questioned my mothering choices.  Instead I felt empowered to take what I already do and tweak and challenge myself to find more joy and more intention in all the ups and downs. 

The friend that asked me to join her on this adventure is my friend Sarah.  We met in college.  She is the one who introduced me to the world of blogging.  I have MANY great friends.  Many great mom friends.  Sarah is one of my favorite people to talk to about being a better mom.  I really feel so alike in the things we want to get out of this season in our lives.  We don't see each other often or AT ALL - once a year if we are lucky.  But we text, email, and stay connected with our blogs.  All three nights we sat up until at least midnight talking about everything we learned and heard during the day.  We talked about our families and all the things that are so important these days as moms.  It was my favorite thing about the whole trip.

The rental car we received after signing up for the mystery car...and some sweet talking and flashing of our mama smiles...

 We requested that we just really hoped for something a little more fun and that a minivan would not do...since that is our vehicle of enjoyment at home.  When we turned on the car the song that was playing was....I am not kidding :  Girls just wanna have fun!  How crazy is that!  Kicking off a girls weekend with that. 

We drove 2 hours into New Hampshire, mostly in the dark, so we really didn't know where we were or what the landscape looked like.  Waking up we found we were in the cutest New England town, RIGHT on the water!  Friday morning was our one free morning.  We got up and walked the town, sipping lattes, and shopping.  My friend Sarah even bought a pair of shoes!  We had lunch and then headed over to the house where the retreat was being hosted.

This is just their summer home.  It is right on a beautiful lake.  It has 8 + bedrooms...one for each of their children to return home to each August.  The amazing mother that hosted has 7 boys and one girl.  She had many wise words for us and was so gracious to let us explore her house.  I told her, "I could be a really great mom in this house!"  She laughed. 

The gals that I hung out with all weekend are these fine ladies!  They were from all over the country.  I enjoyed meeting two moms from New York City...and when I say New York city, I mean New York City.  They live in apartments with three kids and two bedrooms.  They don't own cars and walk everywhere.  One of them road the subway to the hospital because taxi cabs don't always want to stop for VERY pregnant women. 

During the day we sat in a cozy living space and because there were only about 20 women we could easily discuss and share our thoughts and ideas.  Again, it wasn't so much about walking away with crock pot recipes...even though I did walk away with some cookbook ideas, an oatmeal recipe, and a green smoothie to try.  It wasn't so much about sharing little things we do with our children or specific discipline solutions.  It was more about the big picture and a way of thinking that has you reacting to your child's behavior, enjoying your days the best way that fits you, choosing what is important, and finding confidence in the mother that you are for your children. 

 

Each day we took time to walk the area surrounding the home.  It was breathtaking and beautiful.  And very midwest - yet, I rarely take strolls without watching one running ahead and one lagging behind and one crying in the stroller.  Walking with other women, discussing our children's names and what we like to do for "me time" was awesome.

Sarah and I celebrated the retreat with a fun seafood dinner and shared a bottle of wine on Saturday night.  We talked and laughed and realized that we wanted the feeling we were heading home with to last.  And I am so glad that I attended with a friend who I can go to and be reminded of some of the thoughts and ideas that we soaked in.

It has been a super busy week with the Halloween festivities going on.  But I have felt soooo much more content, happy, and relaxed.  I have felt deliberate in the choices I have made this week for our social.  We have family coming into town and I have not let cleaning be the focus - because I know they are coming to see us and not how everything has it's place in our house.  I have kept myself from the computer and phone during the morning and evening times when Charley is home.  I have gone to bed earlier and risen more happy.  A friend said she can tell I am happy this week.  I am.  I told Ed that I feel like that weekend was SO good for my soul and I want to remember it and I want it to last.  And I can tell he can see it too.  Of course I can't go on motherhood retreats monthly but, I can etch out some time for myself, talk more positively with friends about this important job that I am doing during this season in my life, and I can find other ways to refresh and rejuvenate as a woman and mama. 

The job of a mother is 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week...and even if you fly across the country and distract yourself with girlfriend time...you are still thinking of your job and your family all the time.  The guilt is enough to keep us home, stopping us from getting away and giving ourselves a break.  And every parent deserves a break, a chance to step back.  Because when you step back and have space you are really able to see how awesome your life is, how lucky you are, and how you are filled to the brim with gratitude.

Someone said at the retreat,

"Motherhood is not a chore to be endured, but a gift to be treasured."

I hope that my ability to treasure more of this season in my life can be shared with those around me. 

You too can be inspired by just visiting their website here.

Links I LOVE - Halloween Candy solution reminder!

Just loved this post about the not first born child in a family.

No Shame in Stillness...loved this too.

REMINDING YOU OF THIS TRADITION WE STARTED LAST YEAR ...It gets the whole Halloween candy thing under control for both the kids and the mamas.  I saved my board from last year but brainstormed with a friend about just using envelopes and letting the kids throw a piece in each envelope and tossing them in a bowl or putting them on a ring would work just the same! 

How did Sydney do...

Last night Miss Sydney swam with the big boys...or I should say Big BOY.  Charley was off scouting...so I plunked Miss Syd in the bath with Henry.  And bam!  This mama's heart stopped.  My third is swimming with the big fish now.  Ugh, such mixed emotions.

Miss Syd sits and her little feet do the little circles that they are always doing.  And she splashes her little hands.  And she is looking around and excited to grab at all the 'new to her' little toys.  Just so fun to watch.

So while I was gone, how did this nursed little peanut do? ...

I left on Thursday after nursing her at 10:30am and putting her down for a nap.  I returned on Sunday at 2pm and she was napping.  I had pumped as much as I could and depended on her September bottle taking history...and unfortunately ... that didn't work out for me.

Miss Sydney refused the bottle the entire time I was gone.  And she refused me at 4 when I first attempted to nurse her.  After an hour of playing she did nurse and today, Wednesday, she nursed totally normal and back to her regular self.  So from Thursday at noon until Sunday she did not take any bottles.

Daddy and Grandma Charlie got liquids in her by mixing some breast milk with her food.  They fed her three meals of day of baby food.  She slept better than ever.  She napped.  She was her happy content little self.  The rough patch was after I returned.  Sunday afternoon until today was a little tough. 

I took her in on Monday because she had a runny nose all weekend and I just wanted to make sure her ears weren't to blame.  The doctor just chuckled at me.  He said it was not her ears.  She was just getting me back.

Miss Sydney,

You are one of kind.

Love,
Mama

Simple birthdays are the best.

One of the things I was reminded of this past weekend at the mom retreat was that keeping things simple so that I can feel present and take in all the moments is so important. So much of the time you can get wrapped up in what you think you need to do, what you think you should do, and what others will think, that you can lose the joy. And if mama is stressed out and feeling overwhelmed about things...well it can just make everything spiral out of control.

Ed and I decided a while back that we would start official friend b-day parties once Charley was in Kindergarten. And from there we would alternate years with family focused birthdays and friend birthday celebrations. This year was a family year and Charley was okay with it all along.  Henry couldn't understand how Charley was having a birthday without a big party.  At one point on Monday he said firmly, "MAMA!  You HAVE to let Charley invite some friends over tomorrow." 

Because of travel and family coming into town we have to put off the activity choice that Charley will get to do. So that is still coming. However, yesterday, multiple times he said that this was the best birthday ever and that made me chuckle. Because it was all so simple in my mind.

I am the type of person who can get wrapped up in presents and feeling like I am not doing enough. But Ed kept me in line this year. And BOY HOWDY I am glad he did. The couple of very simple presents that we indulged Charley with were welcomed with excitement, happiness, and thanks (a basketball door hanging thingy, a wii game, and the Lego Creationary game.

We always hang the same birthday banner, in the same place. I made him his special breakfast.

We went to lunch at school with him (a new tradition). We brought balloons and sub sandwiches.

Note the windows and how dirty they are...and that would be why our kids come home sick all winter :)

I made him his dinner choice...pasta with alfredo.

And he had seen this football cupcake stand thingy at Michael's a week or so ago and requested that. I checked with him on Sunday and he still liked that idea. So Henry and I went to work.  My go to chocolate cake/cupcake recipe is on the back of the Hersey's container!

When he got home he was soooo excited to see that we did it. When he arrived home he said, "WOW MOM, you did it!" And I replied, "I did. And I think I did a pretty good job." AND HE SAID, "YOU DID AWESOME! THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!"

Daddy made it home for dinner and presents and they they set off for the Scout pack meeting.

He had Aunts and Uncles and grandparents call and wish him well. He got some exciting mail. But overall he felt loved and special. And that is what birthdays are all about. And starting this morning...he can start planning his 8th birthday friend party!