Obviously, I need to clean the bathroom mirror.
So I have had an off day. Just feeling like everything I say comes out or across wrong. My self-esteem seems to have nose dived. And yet, I know life is good. So I am not sure where the funk came from. I think part of it is that this pregnancy is flying by now and I know that this is our last planned baby. Which means this is my last time with this bump and these kicks and all of the excitement that comes along with it. And I think it has me panicked. I am also not ready to be living on lack of sleep and the anxiety that comes along with that is hard - I fear the impact the lack of sleep will have on the boys, my marriage, and me, a functioning stay at home mom. Ed assures me it will all go great. So I will have faith that he knows me and our family.
So this morning Henry and I went on a search for a few new maternity tops. Part of enjoying this last pregnancy is not just looking like a giant tent in over sized t-shirts. Granted - I obviously am still very tent like. But having a cute pair of jeans does help. And yet as I hand over the payment for the items I feel sick because it is only 15 weeks that I need these special items. How lovely though is it that my husband responds to my email explaining my little maternity shopping spree with a "sounds good." So supportive.
The boys and I ran to the library and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and almost tripped over my own two feet. Maybe my funk is from the fact that I feel like my belly has exploded in the last 24 hours. Most likely it is just the shirt (thank you sister Raina)...but I feel like I now have an extra appendage that could swipe a glass of a table. And I now get that in the weeks ahead I am going to even get bigger.
Anyways, the funk will pass. I can feel it. Ed said he would be home early. I have a chocolate creme pie thawing. The boys have been wonderful today. We have fun weekend plans. And I have touched base with many friend in the last few days and they all have happy and exciting things going on. Thinking of friends who are on scrap booking retreats with girlfriends, a friend getting farther along on her pregnancy, a friend who is set for the many boyscout patches her son is about to earn, and the list goes on.
Life is good. I am going to shake this funk and tomorrow is a new day - and I won't be in a funk...but rather some new jeans and maybe a new maternity top.