Monday, January 10, 2011
This weekend we attended a "Big Brother/Big Sister Class." The boys were pretty excited. Charley remembered going to one before Henry was born. They got to bring a doll or stuffed animal. There was only one other girl in the class..so it was almost like a private lesson! During the class the teacher talked about how the baby has grown in mama's belly. Henry's face during this was priceless. His brow was often furrowed and he looked puzzled.
After the class we got to go over to the hospital and get a quick tour of one of the recovery rooms. As soon as we walked into the entrance Ed and I started sharing what we remembered about coming for Henry's arrival. My emotions poured forth and it took everything in me not to cry through the whole tour. Remembering...
Entering the hospital and having to bend over and brace myself along the wall to breathe through contractions.
Riding the elevator in pain.
oh, it just all came flooding back.
Then the music played, signaling that a baby had been born, and the tears started to pour...but yet I pushed them down.
When we stepped into a recovery room to show the boys where mama would be staying it hit me that the hospital is not a spa and the bed is bare bones, the walls are bare etc.
Then they broke the news that things have changed since Henry was born and babies 'room in' now even more...the option of sending them to the nursery at night so you can get some sleep without feeling like you are listening to every little sound is no longer an option. We had the boys in our room for most of our time at the hospital - but man, when you go home it is all you and so I did learn that getting a little sleep at the hospital was an opportunity not to miss. So it will be interesting how this stay goes. I might feel more anxious to just get home in more ways this time around.
After leaving the hospital I was a basket case for most of the rest of the day. My anxiety over the labor and delivery is now at it's peek. (Yes, sister I am just as anxious as the last two pregnancies). It is a hard thing to go through and I know it is hard for Ed to watch and not be able to fix. It is exhausting. And being my third, I know what is ahead, I know I will most likely survive it (yes, I have an irrational fear that I won't), and I know the hard things in life are the things that build us and change us and make us stronger.
So here we are on Monday. No news to share. No signs of any changes in the near future. I must say that all the emails and comments lately have been so fun. Blogging this journey has been pure joy and I appreciate all of your thoughts.