stay at home MOM

 This morning Ed may or may not have had to pull out some clean work pants from this pile.

And the kitchen counter might look exactly like this...but a little steeper when he gets home from work tonight. 

The kids ate breakfast with last nights pot of ravioli that has now crusted onto the pan.  Damn, Sydney would have devoured those three pieces that didn't get eaten last night today for lunch. 

Dinner has been too much pasta and red sauce because it requires a box and a jar and a pot of water--because a last minute trip to the pool for an hour turned into three.  Bliss.  

But here's the thing. 

When Ed and I decided I would stay home to raise our kids, I am pretty sure that was the reason I was staying home - to be their mom.  NOT a full time dishwasher, laundry folder, toilet scrubber, or whatever.  I didn't decide to be a stay at home wife, even though that is an honor to be able to fold his clothes (which happens only occasionally) or iron his work shirts (which happens never, he irons almost every morning all. by. himself.)  

I stayed home so I could give these kidds experiences and outings and quiet days puttering around our house.  I stayed home so I could embrace the mess and realize that days when the house looks like this...start to finish and to start again, it means we had fun and it was a good day. 

When Ed gets home and I am wiped and can hardly get myself off the couch...it means I probably succeeded at "staying home" that day.  It means that I rationalized with those that don't often rationalize, I bribed when necessary, threatened and may have even followed through.  

Beat my chest and might have roared when I remembered how to make loopy bracelets.

And embraced my swimsuit body as I chased around my 18 month old, bent over a whole lot, and sunburned in spots because applying your own after lathering up your children isn't the priority.  I may have enjoyed a piece of chocolate with my head in the cupboard (because I didn't want to share it).  

I am a stay at home mom. 

And I love that Ed offered to bring home dinner already tonight.

Maybe he is hoping that by bringing home dinner the mound of dishes will disappear or be that much less likely to topple over.  

Who cares what his motives are...I'll take it.  

I'll take it, ditch the mess, the laundry pile, the ring in the toilet and go play with my kids....who are only young once.  

GO!