Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The desire of little sister's coexisting needs

The other day I read this post and I smiled.
I smiled at the love that this big brother shows his little sister.
I smiled at the Lego picture.
I smiled at the mom's words at the start.
The ones about losing her cool, apologizing, and the Lego's, .

I smiled how the mom said, "My girl. I cherish that celebrating her girliness and wanting to be just like her big brothers coexists for her. I am super proactive with the boys that they celebrate her differences too. So far, we are doing good most days."

There is this negative connection with some of the princess stuff out there.  And the pink and the girlie.... That it can hurt a girl's self-concept and self-esteem.  I suppose if it is abused.  But for me, a mama of a little girl who's greatest goal each day is to sneak behind the road blocks to get to the boys Lego bin and grasp them tightly in her little paws, hold them out to me, but retract her hand as quickly as possible when she sees me shaking my head and coming toward her... well for me, I think my goal as her mama is to celebrate her girliness while not stifling her desire to be just like her brothers.  To teach my boys to embrace the differences that come along with little girls. 

We reorganized toys here yesterday, because the stress of keeping Miss Sydney away from the Lego's was getting to be too tough.  Legos liter all table tops, floor spaces, nooks, crannies, and even the kitchen counters.  I sometimes find them in my pantry or on the bathroom counter.  Miss Syd has this little Lego sensor that must tell her where they are located, because she finds the random ones that are "lost" in little corners of our house.  And every once in a while they make their way to her mouth.  And that is enough to give this mama a heart attack. 

So the boys toys got moved and Miss Syd now has taken over the play area that is out in the living area of our house.  And I noticed that she really doesn't want to play with the kitchen toys, dolls, little doll house, or farm.  She wants to stand at the gate by the door to the toy room and yell to her brothers, "Let me in."  I can build just as good as you. ( I also know she is too little to play a lot of the stuff I listed and her desire to stand at the gate was more about her brothers.)

My dream is that the relationship that Charley and Henry have, will open up and celebrate the girliness that she deserves to be surrounded with, too.  The painted toes, the baby dolls, the princess wands, and whatever else magical and fairy related.  Because, I already know that she is going to dive right into the building blocks, Star Wars guys, Nerf guns, action figures....with her super girl cape on and play right along side her big brothers. 

I don't doubt they will be great customers to her restaurant, beauty salon, or grocery store.  And I know they will embrace the role of dog when she wants to play house...my brother made a great dog back in the day.  They will cheer her on as she gives ballet a try, so that her mama can snap a few pictures of that adventure.  But they will also make her play hard in the yard with the soccer ball and football.  I am excited to see their relationships build and grow.  Giving your child a sibling is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.  And the dynamic that a brother and sister can bring to a house is one that has so much possibility. 

1 comment:

Raina and Andy said...

I like this post. and i clicked the link (b/c your links are always good!). I can truly say it's because of you that I don't have a preference on boy vs. girl for our 2nd baby. A girl would be so fun and different. But another boy would allow all the things i've seen your boys do/develop/share...even though everything could be different between my 2. i love how sydney totally completes your family but STILL can't believe you had a girl!! RR


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