Monday, August 8, 2011

if i let it

The cottage.

Sadly, it is becoming more and more of a distant memory...
but this gal is going to keep the memories alive because I am going to draw out the sharing of my photos.  So you might notice random pictures thrown together with thoughts that have nothing to do with each other.
Try and keep up.

Life is wonderful when the biggest worry is whether to hop on board or stay on shore.
Minnows? Leeches? or Worms?
Miller lite...or bottle of chilled water?
to swim or not?
What's for dinner?  or should we indulge in another snack?

Life is blessed when you get to go from the exosaucer under the tree on the shore into your grandma's arms...even when she is the silly grandma who wears her Packer Jersey with such pride. 
Loved.  Loving. 
Life.  Isn't it grand when it is just like this.

But this mama is in the midst of change. 
I can feel it coming and I am avoiding this space I think.
I think I am avoiding the whole blogging thing because when I sit and begin to type...
and that is how I do it here...I plop down and say...hmmm, what's on my mind.

Well when I sit here, I realize that it is too hard to comprehend that a few months ago we were waiting impatiently for the summer to begin.  The warm temperatures to begin.  The rain to pause. 
I was talking daily with my friend Sarah about how I was going to structure our days to make the most of this 2011 summer. 
Funny, how now we are verging on the end of summer. 
I have not done any of what I had spent hours thinking out when it comes to routine.
We have filled our days with friends and quiet.  Travel and home.  Busy and boredom. 
And the summer it has flown by.

And now these last couple weeks that lie ahead of me are jam packed with some huge things.

Ed is busy at work and filled with the desire to get crackin' on some of the things we want to do around the house.  But yet, we have decided to trek to Chicago, take in a Packer Pregame with our boys, see family, spend time with friends, all mixed in with the responsibilities of the children, the house, our work, and our needs.  Life.

My mom commented the other day with these words which she was sent through a forward email...the kind that you often trash before you even read...but this time she read it.  And it was a good one.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now....go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

I cherish many friendships. We have some history together.

'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'

My mom is probably my biggest role model in life.  She dances every single opportunity that she gets.  literally.  And my dad is often times leading the way.   I think of her daily as I am in the trenches of motherhood of my tribe of three.  And I look at her now and see her TOTALLY living life.  She travels.  My mom and dad are busy - sometimes too busy for my taste.  But they are always enjoying life.  Their stage of being parents of children that require them to give up the freedom to catch a movie on a random Tuesday night, or go grab a drink on a patio and catch some tunes etc. has passed.  They are now at the stage where they can go get a hamburger at Chucks, make a weekend of friends and margaritas, or just sit in their brown chair and take in some mindless reality TV. 

Ed and I had frustrated moments this weekend when we both had lists of things that we wanted to accomplish or go do but our tribe wanted us to buy pets at their pretend pet store.  They had no interest in going to home depot or the farmers market one moment and  in 30 seconds they had changed their mind.  Off to the park we went ...and both of us stood ...our minds probably a million miles away thinking of all the things we should have been doing.  But I do think that we have had a great summer with our littles and we have some fun still packed in to the next few weeks.  And for now..our stage...isn't like my parents.  But that doesn't mean we can't indulge in a dessert every now and then.  And that is just what we have been doing...a bowl of ice cream at 9pm while we tick things off our list before we crash ...knowing that life is truckin' along too quickly.  Our dessert these days might be getting through the whiny days.  Enjoying the zoo of having children - even if we feel a wee bit caged in at moments.

And so when my mom and I chatted about this message she shared, I had to point out the balance of eating dessert once in a while with indulging nightly.  And spending your money like there is no tomorrow but rather thinking out things and living life in a wise way that allows for long term daily happiness.   How letting things go and not taking care of ones needs can leave you feeling overwhelmed...and so with all the fun that we have coming up in these next few weeks...I feel the need to balance it with making babyfood, shopping for school supplies, folding laundry, mowing the lawn, replacing boards on the deck, making dinner, giving baths to the tribe, returning library books, and brushing teeth.   

I know that we are at different stages of life, my mom and I, but even with my friends and blog world I can see the different personalities that are out there...and I know my yearn to stay home in the evening can sometimes keep me from enjoying moments with self or friends.  But like my mom said, "as long as you don't regret it tomorrow.  Then you are all good."  And so I am going to enjoy these next few weeks and the choices we make so that we are meeting our day to day living needs, our emotional peace, and the need to do what  a little of what we WANT . 

I have a feeling this post is really rambling and mixed up.  But I am going to say heck with it and post it.  My wee-est is calling.  My older littles are out with the neighbors.  Maybe it is time to stop with the laundry and wiping counters down to go take in this moment. this stage. in my life. 

And the dessert it has the potential to be...if I let it. 

1 comment:

April said...

The one thing I take away with the majority of your blog posts is setting priorities. Mostly the reorganizing of priorities and making sure what important is staying important and first. I love this post!


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