We have gotten through the first 5 months of little Miss Sydney's life and it truly has been wonderful. We have run into very few snags. Very few moments of insanity. I have been lucky...or maybe she is a smart little cookie and knows what I can handle.
We are done. But yet...when I read this post today...I cried. GO READ IT! Everything she said, hit home. hard. And I responded to her with this...
oh goodness. I LOVED this post. I can TOTALLY, TOTALLY, TOTALLY relate. I got teary. We are done also...my husband is for sure. And like you...during my pregnancy I knew my body was done. However, a few weeks ago I had to go to the doc for vertigo...and she said, should we run a pregnancy test just in case. I walked by my husband in the waiting room and said, off to do a pregnancy test in the lab. He immediately broke into a sweat. It came back negative and I said to the nurse, "I have three healthy kids out in the lobby. A husband who can handle them all. One of which is only 4 months old. Is it crazy that I am just a wee bit disappointed."
The idea of being done producing miracles with my body is very overwhelming...the idea of 20 more years of period and hormonal rages every month...and then the craziness of menopause...just depresses me. But I guess it is life. And I truly think there are women out there that really are never done because they love babies and life. Deep down I know I am done...but I think I will always have the yearning for another. Because it is so incredible. I think I just wrote a comment that is as long as a blog post. ha! Happy 5 month birthday!
And then she replied with this...
Here's what was going through my head when I read your comment: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We are completely on the same wavelength. :)
(side note: That's what makes blogging so fun...the relationships that form!)
Anyways, a while back a friend asked me what other names were on our short list when we went to the hospital...since we didn't know if Miss Sydney was a boy or girl. And I was so sad that I couldn't find the wrinkled little piece of paper (literally 2 inches by 3 inches big). But then a few weeks ago I found it in my wallet...and it has been in there for the last month. And I come across it every time I do my crazy search for my credit/cash card when I am in line at Target...you know when the kids are done and you have 5 bags of groceries full and ready to be paid for and you fear you are going to have to tell them you can't pay. But then in the last second you find your card. But along with the card comes this little piece of paper...reminding me that I will never have a Lincoln. or a George. or a Leonard....
So here are the short lists...
In the order that I was considering...
Notice...Sydney is not even on the list. That name was thrown our way three days before she was born...it was a fleeting moment. That I am glad stuck with Ed.
Leonard James (Leo)
Edison James (Eddie)
also on the list: Stanley, Milton and Harrison
Georgie Ann or Georgina Ann
Lucy Patrice - if Charley or Henry had been a girl
and in pen off to the side...was Sydney
Ed gripped this little paper in his hand during the hours of labor. I kept asking him "So???" after our little pink girl was born. And it took a few hours to decide. I really wanted Georgie or Georgina...and I think Miss Sydney would have been a beautiful Georgie. But Sydney just felt more right at the time. And I am so happy we went with it.
I am taking this little note out of my wallet now. Although, because I run into it when the kids are somewhat crazy at the grocery store check out...maybe I should leave it in there...kind of a nice reminder that 3 is enough.
I am taking it out and putting it in Sydney's baby book. One of three things that have found their way into it so far. And I am going to move on from thinking about not having a Lincoln. or a George. or a Lucy. Because our family of 5...Mr. Charley, Mr. Henry, and Miss Sydney...they have each other. They are a nice tribe. The are my littles. And we are so blessed.