Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Anxiety over the inevitable

 Ed has been home with us since the Friday before she was born...so over a week! 
And we have worked well together to transition our family from one of four to one of five. 
I have not rested as much as I should have, and now I am feeling the impact.
Sydney has been sleeping like a dream at night, well maybe not like a dream, but wayyyyy better than I ever expected.  She has consistently slept for 2-4 hour chunks from 9pm -8am.  She and I have worked out a nice routine during her 45-30 minute nursing breaks in the night.  I know that this is just a stage and for right now her sleep is decent and it could change any night.  But I am thankful that I am finding that these last few nights have been good.

 I am now entering the countdown to being a mama of three on my own during the day.
I am starting to realize that Ed will be going back to work and the long days are about to become my reality again.  The snow, his work load, and the commute can impact his home arrival time and it is making me sad to think of our time with him going back to the couple of hours at night when we are all done for the day. 

There are moments when I am feeling confident about the new reality. 
And jumping into it is exciting and inevitable.
I know I have some great friends that are ready to step in and help if I feel overwhelmed.
The thing is, when you are sleep deprived and running on survival mode, you don't always know if help is what you need to be asking for. And to ask your husband is sometimes just more easy.

So my anxiety is rising.
My emotions are edgier.
And this mama of three is feeling the new reality approaching and hoping that it all goes well.


7 comments:

Rebecca said...

Awww...sweet little shots. You'll be fine. There will be moments that you're ready to pull your hair out, but you will be fine.

The Tompkins Family said...

She is just SO lovely!

You will be great, I know it!

Anonymous said...

she is so beautiful. i feel anxious for you. i know your boys are old enough and can listen but will they? and will sydney continue to be such a good little snuggle bug? keep your wits about you. rest when you can. if you need to, when Ed comes home from work-go to bed. i started to go to bed from 7-9 for a while and then would get upand eat dinner and nurse him. Ed can handle the other two. so take sydney to your room and try to rest. even if you just lay there and let your body get rest. it's teamwork TOTALLY from now on. one of you will always be dealing with 2 because you can't split it up evenly. ed is a great dad. i know you're an awesome mom. and yes...you'll have your moments. doesn't it make you wonder how mom did it with us? good luck. enjoy your last day with ed....don't get cranky with him tomorrow (wed). and I'll be here to get all the emails and to listen if things aren't going well. remember what you always told me---every stage is just a phase. you can do ANYTHING for x amount of time! RR

CanadianMama said...

Oh that little girl is so cute! I remember feeling that anxiety too and somehow Little Bear is 2 months and I haven't killed either of my children! You will be great :)

Stepping On Cheerios said...

You're gonna be great:).

The Mama said...

I have no advice, I have just 2 kiddoes, but I remember feeling so much anxiety over going from it being just me and my son to having to share my time with my son AND my baby girl. But I have this feeling that you will do GREAT!

Sweet, sweet shots of your beautiful girl!

Peggy, Jason, Lily and Connor said...

i LOVE RR's advice sarah!! keep it all in mind. you are so strong and so smart and so ABLE. you will be fine. looking back on my situation, i realize that i was kinda on auto-pilot for a few months...just putting out fires...handling what needed handling..not really doing special activities or super fun outings etc. just getting by. that's all they need right now..need to learn--you all do. a learning curve for sure, but it'll work itself out and like RR said..it's all a phase, so you'll constantly be in a phase of working it out for the rest of forever..it'll just get easier. remember that a little more tv or a few more snacks (even if they are healthy ones0 are OK to get everyone through the transition! and pick your battles with the boys right now..if no one is getting hurt and nothing is getting smashed..just keep on nursing that little sydney girl and deal with their behavior later. you'll be happier for it!
pw

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