Saturday morning I got to go spend some time with two really good girlfriends. Gals I got to know in college and through my wonderful husband. We hit up a children's consignment sale and then had a LOOOONG lunch including delicious Bloody Mary's...mine was of course virgin. There was serious talk, goal setting, laughter until tears, and tears until laughter. So good for the soul.
They were serious, and though they didn't yell at me, they were firm, like my sister recently, in pointing out that I need to make time for myself. I can not wait for someone else to do it for me. I need to speak up to Ed and tell him what I need and when I need it. I need to tell him to remind me that I need to go when I get invited. He could even remind me that I can go.
Escaping to a coffee shop with my computer or my "What to Expect when you are Expecting book" for an hour is something I can do at least once a week to renew and realize life.
The days are long the years short.
As good friends they pointed out that no one can read my mind, especially my husband. They recognized all that I do as a stay at home mom and reminded me that taking care of me from time to time will make our family stronger.
I, of course, came home and overwhelmed Ed sharing some of my thoughts - and I think like any guy - he can not understand how my morning with my friends was at all fun. "Did you cry?" HAHA! Men and women are so different. He listened though and supports all of what I shared. He agrees that 13 hours a day of rationalizing with 2 beings under the age of 6 can be draining - especially when they are tired or acting creepy.
So I am vowing as one of my goals to make more time that allows me to renew and revitalize so that my mornings are greeted with a smile. Maybe this means a quick brisk walk at dusk, grocery shopping alone in the evening, setting up a morning play date for Henry so I can clean a bathroom without a side kick, or escaping the bedtime routine by visiting a coffee shop.
I used to have Bunco with friends once a month. I used to be on the Mom's Club board and that meant a meeting with wine once a month, at least. Lately, I opt out of any evening activities. It is just easier.
This baby is going to arrive very soon and my good friends reminded me that it is going to be harder for a long time to escape alone. I am going to have a little miracle attached to my boob. Which, is going to be wonderful, and I won't want it any other way. But going to the coffee shop with the little bundle will not be the same...I will of course be praying that she/he doesn't have a blowout, a fussy time, need to nurse, etc. High Alert mothering will begin again come February.
So it is up to me. Just like, all mothers and fathers, have to remind themselves that they need to speak up to make their needs clear. It will only build a healthier and stronger family.
This blog post popped up this morning and went along with some of my thoughts about weekends. I have high expectations of family time and have a hard time leaving the family to go do something fun on my own. When Ed is home I am more aware of my mood and how it impacts the rest of the clan. And when she describes her husband there are things she says that match my description of Ed to a tee (sp?). I, like her, am so blessed to be married to such an engaged father.
And, on another note, this video was posted and is just completely inspiring.