So my blog has come up in conversation lately and I worry that I give this illusion that everything here is all happy, calm, entertaining, healthy, and balanced. And I want to remind my friends and family that this is only a small snippet of my day. It is the part that I sit down and reflect on and use to inspire my next days decisions. It is hard to blog about the hard moments without crossing the line. It is also my place that I hope my boys will look to for glimpses of who they were, who I was, and the choices and decisions that we made as a family in raising them. It blows my mind that when we are sitting down to dinner and I have resorted to thawing some of my pesto and throwing it on some pasta and slicing up some tomatoes with some mozzarella cheese....well this is a meal that my boys will remember from their childhood.
Anyways, getting off the topic. Honesty....here is an update...
Since I am lacking sleep - which means my mood is set at "fly off the handle" mode by the smallest action...I decided we would get out of the house and go burn some energy. So I got showered and did my hair - this is huge. If you ask any of my friends they will tell you that a hat has been seen on my head a majority of this summer because...well let's be honest-- I am lazy and frustrated with my hair right now. Growing it out from that short cut is a...twitch. We headed to the open gym at the gymnastics center...but it wasn't all skipping out to the van. This is how it went:
Henry came to the door with four match box cars in his hands. I told him he could bring two. His fit begins. Charley comes to the door and sees that Henry is going to bring some cars and runs off...I know what he is getting...he is getting the car that Henry had me dig for this morning because it was the exact one he NEEDED (in case you are curious it is the police car with the trunk that opens and it was found in the drawer of over 100 cars - thank you very much). Of course Charley had to go get that one and then wave it in Henry's face which put Henry into a full blast freak out. I of course, being the quick the threaten mother, said we weren't going to the gym if we couldn't get out of the door NOW. Both boys were whining full force. I took the police car because according to Charley this would be "fair". Charley and Henry got in the car but at this point Charley realized he now had NO cars. So the crabbing continued. A few choice words were being whispered under my breath. Henry of course didn't get right into his seat...he is at a stage where he likes to wander the van and look in all the nooks and crannies. I counted to 5 and then walked down the driveway to gather my cool...right after saying loudly, "If you don't get in your carseat we aren't going." Which then put Charley on high alert that it was time for his freak out to escalate. As I walked back to the car Henry climbed into his seat but the whining continued. I got into my seat and heart pounding....HIT THE HORN. And I held it down for a few seconds. That got everyone's attention and life moved on.
So there you have it. The honest truth that leaving the house these days is not all smiles and smoothness.
The gymnastics center was bliss. We then went to a potluck at the park where the boys didn't eat because there were bees or something going on at the kids table.
Then we ran to Macy's and had 10 minutes to spare before the morning preview special on that fabulous processor was over. So I grabbed the box and off we went.
I contemplated living without this beautiful machine...my birthday money was supposed to go towards a sewing machine....but let's be honest. In the next several months....maybe year...after the morning we had...I figure that finding a space and quiet time to learn to sew is not something that is going to happen. However, shredding and chopping the hell out of shit might be therapeutic.
A sewing machine will be mine...at some point. But for now. The instruction book for this thing is so impressive and exciting that I might be slicing, dicing, puree-ing, beating, whipping, shredding, and a hole bunch more ALL. WEEKEND. LONG.
It is quiet time in our household. The boys are settled down in front of Dinosaur Train Underwater Adventure or something...all I know is it is an hour long. And I am going to ...I don't even know? Breathe, sigh, and wish that I had stopped for a diet coke...because at the potluck Paula and Sarah G. were drinking one and it looked like heaven.