Thursday, March 4, 2010
It has been a while since I have felt the 'new mom sleepless night baby fog" feeling. You know the one...after waking too often in the night, not being able to sleep when the baby is sleeping, eyes feeling heavy all day...walking around like you are in a fog.
The last couple days I have had the start of a head cold. I have tried to lay low but after watching Charley come at me down that massive ski hill (and it was massive to any mother watching her first born 5 year old son come flying down it) I am hurting. Last night I laid awake for hours...unable to get that video clip of him coming down the hill, straight at me...out of my mind. It just kept playing in my head. And then of course, my motherly worries kicked in and I was able to envision every single terrible thing that COULD have gone wrong.
Was I crazy to even let him near that ski hill!?
It is a wonder how Mothers ever get any sleep...we start out waking to feed, comfort, and soothe our little ones to sleep. As life progresses we can be overwhelmed with the worries and what ifs:
Is he too young to be skiing down a hill on two sticks of wood?
Does he know the rules of the road when learning to ride his bike?
Does the other mother who you carpool with text or talk on her phone when she has your miracle in her care?
When you drop your child off at a playdate - is their house safe? Are their unsafe items within reach?
Does your child know not to eat a random candy-like item off the floor?
Will he talk to a stranger ...let alone go with them when tempted by a treat of some kind?
If he is feeling unsafe with another adult does he know how to get to a safe place?
Is he drinking enough milk?
Is getting the vitamins and nutrients he needs?
Does he get enough sleep?
Does he get enough physical activity?
Does he know when he is being too rough with his little brother?
Does he have the commonsense to not jump from somewhere that is too high?
The list could go on and on! The thing is...as I lay awake worrying about all this I know that it is unhealthy. And it isn't doing anyone any good. These worries can leave me concluding that my children should not venture far from my reach to live life with the freedom that comes as they grow older and experience more and more. And that isn't what I want for my boys - NOT. AT. ALL. I want them to live life with growing confidence, independence, and the knowledge that I am here cheering them on - their mother - their safe place.
But I still can't turn off the worries that replay through my mind, in the wee hours of the night, over and over again. What is a mother to do? Especially, a mother who doesn't drink coffee!
This post is part of Tuesday's Unwrapped with Chatting at the Sky and 30 Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Days.
at 8:48 PM Posted by For the Love of Naps - Sarah