Sunday, December 27, 2009

He loves me....

but he sure doesn't like me very much. 

I have been reading a parenting book to try and gain a few tricks for my back pocket to start the new year off with a bang.  After some good time in the car this weekend I was able to talk about some of the strategies with Ed. 

Tonight we were given perfect examples to try out the language that was suggested in this book.  So tonight I put Charley to bed and when he started pulling his normal whiny bedtime routine stuff....I decided to give the strategy a try.  Here is this nightly battle:

After reading several books to Charley we say goodnight and ask him what he wants to listen to.  He has a cd that talks about the moon that hangs on his wall; he has two cds with longer book on tape stories (Mercy Watson); and he has music.  Of course he can always choose nothing. 
He has to draw out his decision - hem and haw about the decision and ultimately Ed and I lose our patience and end up switching cds two to four times.  Tonight, when he said he wanted Mercy I clicked it on and said goodnight.  As I walked out the door he started throwing a tantrum about not wanting Mercy. 

This is one of the changes we want to make because it leaves Ed and I returning downstairs in a fit of rage over the changing mind of a five year old.  So tonight, I explained to Charley, that he chose Mercy - he has the same choice every night - and maybe tomorrow he will pick something different. 

He of course has been crying - HE IS OH! SO! TIRED!.  But then he started yelling:

"I don't like mama!  I don't like mama - THAT MUCH!"

The thing is when a parent has a struggle with their child on a nightly basis.  And that power struggle has them leaving the child frustrated and annoyed - well to be honest- I don't like that mama very much either.  (Or that daddy)  The bedtime routine has been one of our strengths - or at least we will admit to be lucky with boys that enjoy bath, books, and night night time. I love saying goodnight to my boys - knowing that they are safe and sleeping. I love knowing that tomorrow is a new day for more fun, more patience, more creativity, and more challenges.  So I want to get past this "stage" because remember - everything is a stage. 

Pleased to announce that:

Charley is now yelling " I DON'T LIKE DADDY EITHER ANY MORE!"
Ed isn't looking so smug at the moment.

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