Friday, December 6, 2013

yes and no | no and yes

More and more of my friends seem to be having moments of being down or in a funk.  I'm not the only one.   I talk to them and they don't always seem like their old self...they are down about the holidays, they are struggling with a child/parenting issue, they are overwhelmed, feeling unorganized, feeling checked out, or just paddling so hard to stay afloat.

I am grateful that I have friends who I can check in with and share with.  Who validate or listen.  Who encourage or check in.  Who share their struggles too so I don't feel like the only mom with a boy scout wreath that has laid in our garage for 3 weeks...because I keep forgetting to ask Ed where the dang door hanging thing is.

Maybe we are just moving out of our sleep deprived baby years and realizing...we are still tired.  Maybe we are realizing as we get older our metabolism slows down and our body relaxes and we have to actually think about what we eat and make an effort to exercise.
Maybe  we spend more time in our cars driving our kids around and less time snuggled on the couching reading them stories, playing candy land, or just home making dinner with them puttering under our feet.
Maybe we are less worried about what they are eating and how much they are sleeping and now we realize that worrying about their friends, learning, and social choices are far more scary since they are so out of our control.
Maybe we hold a baby and wonder how that time in our life has passed.
Maybe less sunshine means more energy for cooped up kiddos and vitamin D is harder to absorb.
Maybe we have so many friends and interests and hobbies we want to pursue, but no time to give them.
Maybe we know our priorities should be adjusted, but candy crush still wins.

It's hard.

I am taking this holiday season slow.  This week I have been determined to get the house pulled together.  The laundry off the couch, the toilet cleaned, and a few holiday decorations up.  Now if someone knocked on my door I could actually open it because the bin of hunting gear is now off to the side instead of blocking the doorway.  But yet this post has SUCH a good point.

I read a post that shared the thought that if something makes you yell or feel stressed his holiday season ...then don't do it. The post can be found here.  If baking with your kids makes you lose your marbles...skip it.  Target sells cut outs already cut out.  BAM!  If wrapping up every holiday book so your kids have a surprise every night is too much work...then skip it.  Throw some holiday books in a pile under the tree and just fit in reading a few.  If attending every holiday celebration that your city throws makes your kids super crabby and overtired...then pick and choose.  They really will survive and you will probably be much less snappy.

The other day it snowed.  And the temps were decent.  And Syd wanted to go out and play.  So out we went-- twice.  I had so much to do.  But I knew that standing outside so she could experience the first snow fall was WAY more important and good for my soul.

Saying yes to something is saying no to something else.  Saying no to something is saying yes to something else.

This holiday season, that seems extra stressful and overwhelming because there is so little time between Christmas and Thanksgiving, will be so much more enjoyable if we let go of the imaginary expectations that we think others..... our children, our families, our friends, the lady who checks you out at Target have for us.  Because they don't have expectations for us.   We are the ones who put the expectations on ourselves.  So don't.  Do what needs to be done.  Pick a few little things to do with your kiddos.  And let go of some stuff.

Maybe less holiday decorations means less clutter and a more relaxed feeling
Maybe making less types of cookies means happy cookie baking and less guilt when you don't make it to the gym because you stayed up sipping eggnog, nibbling cookies, and watching a hallmark sappy cry baby movie.
Maybe less holiday celebrations mean you will enjoy the things you do make time for more.

Children find joy remembering.  They don't HAVE to repeat something to have it bring a smile to their face.  Last year we did the holidazzle parade and it was completely awesome.  But this year the moms just might not have the energy to pull it off again.  But that's okay.

The holiday tradition I want my children to remember and to come home for when they are 20,30, or almost the feeling their mama gave them, the feeling of home, and the feeling of knowing that this time of year is magical and meant for family.

I do think....when mama is merry...everyone is merry!  Am I right?

What are you saying no to this season and saying yes to instead?
What are you saying yes to this season and saying no to instead?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen to all of it! We haven't had any real snow yet so I haven't had to say yes or no to putting on all the gear...but I know it's coming.
This year I am saying no to wrapping the Xmas books because I just don't feel like making the time to wrap them. Next year for sure...we wills till read them this year.
This year we are saying yes to traveling more than once in the month of December. I'll probably regret it later but for now I'm rolling with it.
Also saying no to advent calendars but I still love those.a nd saying yes to more online shopping and more no to cold nights at the store.


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