Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Henry's Kindergarten journey begins...

Dear Hen,

Yesterday was the first big step to taking on this adventure called Kindergarten.
You were brave and you hung in there when meeting Mrs. M, your new kindergarten teacher. 
It could have gone better, but it also could have gone worse.  Your shy personality had you a bit hesitant but you slowly opened up and in the end...

You sat for a story without me right by your side.

You finally let me take a picture of you and your teacher.  

And you proudly tackled the final task of leaving me where I would say my goodbye today and walk all the way to your classroom by yourself.  Your teacher said you confidently gave her a high five when you got there.  

This morning you were up at 6am. 
You knew what you wanted to wear, your new batman shirt and shoes.
And you got dressed without hesitation.
You had mama's waffles with whipped topping on them.
You even got in the car with your backpack just fine. 
I was hopeful, and praying.

We dropped of big brother Charley, the kid who said last night,
"I wish today was over so I could start tomorrow."  
But then you thought we were going back home...and we weren't. 

We got in to the school but, when it was time for you to go down that long hallway your tender shy heart emerged.  And there were tears.  And from there it was kind of a blurry mess.  We left you at the doorway, not happy,- and as I walked away I sobbed, Sydney said, "Hemy okay?"  And daddy was trying to calm us all.  

The principal encouraged us and then went to check on you, Sir.  And she reported back that you were already coloring at the table, after putting your stick in the cup, and your backpack in your locker. 
I knew it.  
You are so ready to learn. 
I know you are going to take off. 
Your personality is so content at home with me. 
You kept busy with legos and other things.  We cooked, baked, and went on outings. 
But you didn't demand too many snacks or cartoons (like your little sis).  And you didn't demand projects or entertainment (like your big brother).  You are my kid that automatically took my hand for so many years so naturally in parking lots or anywhere.  You are my kid who is content at home, with me, anticipating daddy home days, loving up your little sis, and living for the moment when your big brother emerged after school.  

It is time for you to go!
It is time for you to learn.
More than anything I wish for you to be your own person and order what you want at restaurants, buy what you want with your hard earned money, and walk through Target and proudly say hi to a little buddy that none of us know.  It is time.  

And we open enrolled to this new district this year because half day kindergarten was the right thing for your little soul.  It will be hard work.  You are going to learn to read.  The afternoons with me will give us time to spend one on one time on some of those little skills.  And next year I know you will be more than ready to head off with your brother for full days of adventure.  

Most of the time these new stages and seasons are hardest on us, parents.  
It is our anxiety and over thinking that cause the most angst and worry. 
And our kiddos prove to us that they are so brave and strong. 
It is always hard when the moment comes for these big leaps from the nest to happen and our little ones cling and show their hesitations.
But, we mamas have to remember, that they do this for us.  Right?  They kick and scream and don't want us to leave so that we walk away feeling so loved.  Because the teachers and daycare people ALWAYS report that the crying stopped moments after we turned the corner.  

And as we sit in the car and sob.... 
Thinking they are sitting there thinking, "How could my mom and dad just leave me here?"
We MUST remember that they are ready, and they will be great, and the clinging, crying, and whatever else...is their way of saying they love us.  And that they no longer are crying...instead, they are coloring, snacking, playing, learning, growing....doing just fine.  

Henry, I am watching the clock.  Listening to the tick of that loud clock in our front room.  Wanting the time to go SO fast so that I can pick you up, hug you, and hear about all the fun you have had.  

We will lunch. 
We will chill.
And we will go pick up your brother. 
And tomorrow - will be better.  I know it.  

Because you are my Hen. 
And you are going to rock this thing they call Kindergarten.  
Most definitely, my man. 

So proud of you! 

Your mama

P.S.  Little sis was determined to wear this leotard (thanks Lynelle) today.  I guess she was embracing the girl time that we are about to embark on this school year.  


Roz said...

Oh Sarah...great post. Thanks for it. My heart was twisting inside for you as I read it. Perhaps because in just 7 short days I'll send my second born into the grand world of Kindergarten. Seems surreal. This year I didn't take the first day of school off because I am now hosting mainly teacher's kids and need to be open on such a big day. I keep telling myself the trade off will be having ALL of next summer off to enjoy my crew. Hope this week finishes out strong for your boys (and you!) :) Roz

Grandma Charlie said...

Henry, you have been tugging at my heartstrings this week. I am so proud of you! You will do great!

katherine said...

Sarah, I'm in tears. I loved this post. I was secretly excited to see this one, when you sent Henry off. I love that each child is so different and you embrace each one so much for who they are. I'm happy that Henry is 'taking off'! The picture of him walking down the hallway alone had me in tears...what you said about how our children needing us and crying for us makes us mamas feel good, but we ultimately want them to be independent and happy and secure enough to let go of our hand...and believe that we did a good job loving them and helping them feel secure. Anyways, you've got me thinking tonight! Thanks for the blessing of your blog! -Katherine


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