the calm that comes with your third miracle's journey

There is a mysterious calm that comes when your third child comes down with croup.

I could tell Sydney was coming down with a little bug.

Why wouldn't she?  She has had nothing all year and she turns 1 in a week.

She had to get something!

I could hear the croup coming and I called the nurse in a panic.

"Is there anything I can do to ward it off?"

She chuckled, and went through all the things I should do when it strikes.

I knew all those tricks.

I wasn't in a panic over croup. I was in a panic that she was going to be sick.

Last night she was up here and there with an awful bark of a cough.

She sat facing me, her head buried into my chest.

Fingers were sucked ferociously.

After a few minutes she let me lay her back down to the hum of the humidifier.

At one point she and I sat in the steamy bathroom, letting the shower run. 

But my calm led her right back to sleep, even after the excitement of the shower and the brightness of the bathroom lights.

I truly believe that babes can sense your vibe and feed off the calm or the chaos.

After about 2:30 am  we heard nothing else until Ed and I awoke at 5:45 (when Henry wandered in)and looked at each other...

was she okay?

Of course, she was.  I checked.

We hit the ground running today and got into the doc and she got a steroid shot.

She should be ready to party by Saturday, the doctor hoped. 

The calm that comes from experience is priceless.

So to my sister, who is about to embark on the journey of having a second child,

during the last few weeks of your pregnancy when your mind wanders to "how am I going to do it?"

have faith and be confident that all you experienced with your little man Eli will make round two sooooo much more exciting and yet calm.  Confidence with knowing when to call the doc, confidence in knowing how to breastfeed, confidence in letting baby fuss a teeny tiny bit, confidence in predicting a tooth or an ear infection, confidence in knowing it is JUST an ear infection or a new tooth, confidence in knowing that a stage will pass, and you will gain confidence quickly in realizing that your heart expands and you will for sure have enough love for both of your little miracles. 

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Our day got hairy around the time I had to drop Charley off.

There might have been tears in this mama's eyes.

I might have growled, "Get out!" to Charley.

I might have won the "worst mama award." 

But after talking calmly to Charley on the phone once he had arrived at school.

And seeing the doc for Sydney...

the word calm has settled on this mama's shoulders.

And the amazing gift that we are granted...the chance to start over at any given time of our day, is again a choice you make more confidently when you have done it a few too many times.

Our start over time was 9:30am.

And starting over made all the difference.

all. the. difference.

I wish you calm in your Tuesday.