Thursday, December 8, 2011

There are no weekends to a stay at home mom.

Today my husband and I rehashed a morning incident and he said, "You dealt with it way better than I did.  More patience, more thought."  And I know, this time, it was because he was "in the moment" and I got to walk in after the fact.  But man alive, does a little pat on the back go a long way.  And to be honest, usually he is the one to talk out situations with the boys with more calm and understanding.

Lately, on the weekend he lets me sleep an extra hour or so because I have been having to get up with Sydney and for the time being, this is just how it has to be.  If he goes in, and he is always willing, it just makes things worse.  But last weekend I was grumpy because when I did get up we had 45 minutes to get out the door to basketball and I still had to make breakfast and get everyone ready.  I ended up having to go late because I couldn't get myself ready. 

I sometimes have moments on weekends when I get overwhelmed because when Ed is around I feel like things should be easier for me.  But it is sometimes an illusion because I am still the bag packing, water bottle filling, getting everyone dressed and fed person.  And this weekend I kinda snapped about having to do it all, on the weekends.  And he honestly said something to the effect that I manage the home stuff.  And I do.  And that is why sometimes, on weekends, I find myself more crabby than a random Tuesday morning.  Because our routine is throw off.  I think we can be lazy and relax.  I think that with Ed around I won't have to do my job.  When in reality, a stay at home mama's job is non-stop.  There is no weekend. 

Don't get me wrong - weekends are still my favorite days of the week.  "Daddy stay home days" as the boys cheer are THE BEST.  But I have been trying to think out why I get so crabby at different points during the weekend.  And it is because I let go of our normal expectations and enjoy the family and then all of a sudden around 4:30 I realize that NO ONE has cleaned up a toy or the kitchen.  And I was so distracted I never planned dinner.  And it just gets overwhelming.

Ed and I are a GREAT parenting team.  I could not ask for a better partner in this crime called "parenthood".  And every weekend I vow to be happy the entire time.  But I still get a little riled up and overwhelmed when I have to pop the cinnamon rolls in the oven in order to wake up to their smell. 

Please note:  Ed is always helping with things but he also knows that if he does things they are often not the way I would do them.  So he is kind of in a no win situation.


Jennifer said...

Those pats on the back are so important! I love the weekends... I "book" some me time when I can catch up on blogs, write or exercise (yeah... the weekend is the only time I can exercise). My hubby is pretty good with "taking over" when I let him know what time period I want/need.

Roz said...

Seriously...we should have our DNA checked. We may have been separated at birth. I feel and am the same darn way.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend whose husband travels a lot and she said that it's almost easier to manage when he's not home...and I could not understand why. But, like you said, you're out of routine and it requires extra communication.


Danifred said...

This post is exactly why I chose the word "appreciate" as my word for this past year. I wanted to remember to give those pats on the back.

Goings on at the Glenn's said...

you hit it right on the head! Especially the part where you said "I am still the bag packing, water bottle filling, getting everyone dressed and fed person." I too wish that I could let the stay at home mom jobs go and that magically someone would step in and take over.

Crystal said...

Soooo true! My husband works 6 days a week and it seems like Sundays should be easier because he's around - but they never are. So important to feel appreciated, love when my husband remembers those little pats on the backs.


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