Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I wake up in the morning and while I nurse Sydney I look to see if a handful of blogs have posted. There are certain ones that I hope have posted in the wee hours of the morning to give me that burst of inspiration to parent with a little more presence, patience, creativity, love, etc. The list goes on. I love to see what they are up to. I love to hear what phase they are going through and how they are dealing. I LOVE when they share about a tough day or a parenting strategy that really works. I love when they have a funny story that reminds me to find humor in my day.
I finish nursing and settle Sydney on her playmat, in her swing, or hike her up into my baby carrier, and wonder - is that really what it is like in their house. Blogging is just a snippet up the grand scheme of your day. It is typically only a 15 minute moment that we reflect on. I would love to know if this family always looks bright, vibrant, and in love with each other. I would like to know if this house is always so spotless and clutter free. I would like to know if she really eats a donut every day with a latte from Starbucks. I would like to know if everything here is always unicorns and rainbows whether it be in the adventures or the closets of clothes.
So this weekend my sister came to visit. But she didn't come alone. She brought her little boy of course. But she also brought one of her best friends, Peggy, and her daughter. I have met Peggy a few times at baby showers and other events. But we have never "hung out". She reads my blog. So she has become a friend through an exchange of emails and comments over the last year or two. So to have her come to my actual house, when all she has known of me is from my blog, caused me to feel a little anxious. BECAUSE REALLY - SHE KNOWS A LOT about me from my blog.
Because, those that know me in real life, know that I get emails from the teacher about my son saying the word "poop" at school. They know I yell. They know I resort to bribery. They know my kitchen counter gets heaped with dirty dishes and my couch is heaped with laundry needing to be folded more often than it is free for friends to sit on. My real life friends know that I tend to over-schedule and have less time quiet at home than hosting spur of the moment play dates or running here and there. My real friends know that a baseball cap and cozy pants are my favorite clothes for the day.
So with Peggy's visit I wondered - will she be disappointed in the "real life" of the family of For the Love of Naps. But then I decided to just relax. It didn't matter. And on Saturday, I didn't shower until late afternoon and even wore the sweat pants I slept in to the soccer game at 9am. On Sunday, I again, didn't shower until after they left. We ordered out take out instead of baking up something fresh and homemade. And the house became a train wreck - literally, since my nephew Eli is in love with playing with trains.
The weekend was GREAT and I will post on that later. But reading this post about blog friendships becoming REAL face to face friendships made me smile. Because blogging is somewhat of an illusion because it is only a snippet of our day. And for me, blogging is my chance to reflect on the day. My chance to find what I want to remember, what I want to do better at, what I am proud of, what makes me excited about being alive today. And I try to throw in the ugly - but it is far more healthy for my soul to find the beautiful in my day and share that.
And when this blogger wrote this - it really hit home.
Am I true enough?
I wonder sometimes if you think that I'm pretty and smart, patient or funny or spiritual and contemplative about everything ('cause, um, NO). If you think that my tinies are winsome and wonderful all of the time (they are so NOT). If you think my marriage is all rainbows and unicorns and we don't have our moments of having to hang on tight (because we do). If you think I know what the heck I'm doing (because most of the time, I don't). I share some of my life here - but not all of it. I am honest - but selective. I am vulnerable and real - but learning to keep some stories to myself, particularly those of family or friends. And even being a bit more selective of what photos or stories I share from the tinies because they are slowly crossing that line where their stories are their own and not mine to tell. I feel like my truest self is expressed here but it's not my whole self either. So I hope that when we meet you know that you know me. But I'm also still me - a little chubbier than you might think with normal tinies and a normal life and, really, so much like all of us, just living life and trying to slow it down a bit to love better.
I love reading blogs for the inspiration, entertainment, and ideas. They leave me feeling invigorated...but they also leave me wondering...what's the rest of their day like? What does the rest of their house look like (since behind that single picture it looks clean)? How do the siblings get along during the 4-6pm hour? And the wonderings go on and on.
I love writing my blog because it inspires me, keeps me on my toes, and gives me motivation to keep challenging myself as a mom.
Blogging is it's own world. And I am glad to be part of it. But the key is PART...it is just a part of my day, a part of my parenting, a part of who I am.
For more people "Pouring their Hearts Out" you can go visit Shell's blog here.
at 7:58 AM Posted by For the Love of Naps - Sarah