Tonight when Ed arrives home I know he can tell he needs to tread lightly. It was a great day, but something has me feeling like falling apart. He takes bedtime, gives me a hug, and I go snuggle Miss Sydney.
This morning I woke up to a short email from my sister. It asked,
"Are you tired?"
I responded, "why?"
She wrote saying since Sydney was born I have not written to her about being tired from a terrible night of sleep. She knows Sydney is sleeping well. She also knows I am exhausted by the end of the day...but wondered if I was waking up tired.
I thought about it all day. The last week Miss Sydney has been waking up around 2 and 5. (Instead of just 5) I still can't complain. My boys are old enough that they can get up in the morning before Ed leaves and get busy with something. Then I sleep for a bit longer with one ear open. It works pretty slick.
The issue has been that after she gets up and nurses, fast and furious, I can't get back to sleep. I lay awake worrying about things that most likely will never happen or things on my to do list or things I am not doing well enough or friends who could be in labor and I am praying it all goes well. The list goes on. So actually, yes, I have been waking up tired. And it stinks - but I feel like I can't complain because new baby isn't really the one keeping me awake - but rather my own crazy worry wart personality.
Last night I told Ed that I would vow to turn on my book light and read if I came back to bed and didn't think I would fall back asleep.
Tired? Yes, but it typically hits around 4:30 pm when I just want to crawl into a hole and not have anyone demanding a glass of water, a snack, or a meal. Where no one is latched on, or needing a diaper change.
Life is so good...I mean look at this little girl who wore her first dress today. I am in love with these leg warmer things. They work better than tights at this age! I am on the look out for more - if you have a good resource let me know.
So, tired maybe - and tonight, crabby and close to tears but worth it - can't complain.