I am sure many of you have been waiting for reality to hit. Miss Sydney has been an amazing sleeper - and it couldn't last. My dad reminded me, "Well, it could change at any time." And though a blog only gives you a teeny tiny glimpse at our day to day life - I am sure it all looked like everything was going smooth. And actually, for the most part, it was. Sleep is the ultimate necessity for a patient, happy, content mama. And I have gotten lots of sleep.
The first week I was running on adrenaline. I had Grandma Charlie here and Ed was home. Tired wasn't a thought. Then Miss Sydney started sleeping through the night. Seriously, I don't remember a time where she was waking up more than 2 times in the night. Bliss.
But just this last week she started waking up every two hours. There was a night when I couldn't get her to go back to sleep. And the walking zombie mama emerged.
The patience began to slip away. For example, yesterday at dinner...I felt like I either wanted to tear the heads off my two boys and shove the DELICIOUS pot pie (which included - grab a Kleenex because it is sooo terrible that it might make you cry - PEAS!) down their throats. Either that or I wanted to take the pot pie and go sit in my van and eat it all by myself. Ed kept me sane with his look that tells me I am getting crazy and I need to relax.
Which then makes me want to cry. But dinner ended - the pot pie was enjoyed by Ed and I in it's entirety and Charley and Henry went to bed hungry after eating only a few slices of bread and a small salad. Thanks mom for the most perfect looking and tasting pot pie EVER!)
So Miss Sydney ...
Don't look away. I am talking to you!
Don't even think of cracking a smile!
I want to know WHY you are all of a sudden needing to suck on your hands, smile and kick, coo, and eat...every 2 hours!
And don't laugh...
Because this is serious business.
Is it because you are growing? Or is the bassinet just too small...because maybe it is time to move you to your crib...
OH! Now I have your attention! See, mama is serious!
And don't think about giving me some cute little look that is going to change my mind.
So tonight, we are going to attempt the crib. And maybe she will suck her hands for an hour before making enough noise to get my attention...or maybe she will fall back asleep on her own. Or maybe she will be freaked out and find the bigger space to be overwhelming and we will introduce ourselves to a little unhappy Sydney tonight.
Reality, I have been SO lucky these last few weeks. I have been getting really good sleep. And when I finally get myself to sit up in the wee hours of the night, with a heavy sigh and a little annoyance uttered under my breath at my snoring husband... I look down at her and she smiles I can't help catch my breath. I can't help remind myself that this is it. She is only this little for so long. So I actually don't mind the middle of the night feedings.
The reality, is I hate the exhaustion the next day. The lack of patience. The feeling of wanting to run away and hide. The confusion I feel towards being happy with the day or totally irritated.
Lacking good solid sleep makes me irrational, irritated, uninspired, and lost during the day. Did I get all the blogs I wanted written today - no. Did I take time to practice my zig zag stitch - no. Did I take a nap - no. I instead wandered in discontent, frustrated that tomorrow will come and I didn't take advantage of the day.
Ed took the boys to two parks yesterday. He had them outside all afternoon. This morning they worked on trimming trees. And still I couldn't settle myself.
There is no chance for a nap these days. The spring winds are blowing and the boys are hopping to get outside right after lunch and I can't close my eyes when they are out there. So, tonight, we will see. This week we will see. And hopefully, we will see Miss Sydney go back to her good sleep habits...because her pediatrician said she shouldn't slide backwards - that we should be tough and let her fuss it out a bit. And really, she isn't fussing. She just wants to coo, kick, suck on her hands, and play...so maybe, moving her to her crib will solve the problem. or maybe it is the swaddle. Or the bedtime timing. The routine. What I ate. Her pjs...ugh..the list could go on and on and on.
Reality - this week, I am thinking I might be a wee bit tired.