Sunday, April 10, 2011

Reality hits -

I am sure many of you have been waiting for reality to hit. Miss Sydney has been an amazing sleeper - and it couldn't last. My dad reminded me, "Well, it could change at any time." And though a blog only gives you a teeny tiny glimpse at our day to day life - I am sure it all looked like everything was going smooth. And actually, for the most part, it was. Sleep is the ultimate necessity for a patient, happy, content mama. And I have gotten lots of sleep.

The first week I was running on adrenaline. I had Grandma Charlie here and Ed was home. Tired wasn't a thought. Then Miss Sydney started sleeping through the night. Seriously, I don't remember a time where she was waking up more than 2 times in the night. Bliss.

But just this last week she started waking up every two hours. There was a night when I couldn't get her to go back to sleep. And the walking zombie mama emerged.

The patience began to slip away. For example, yesterday at dinner...I felt like I either wanted to tear the heads off my two boys and shove the DELICIOUS pot pie (which included - grab a Kleenex because it is sooo terrible that it might make you cry - PEAS!) down their throats. Either that or I wanted to take the pot pie and go sit in my van and eat it all by myself. Ed kept me sane with his look that tells me I am getting crazy and I need to relax.

Which then makes me want to cry. But dinner ended - the pot pie was enjoyed by Ed and I in it's entirety and Charley and Henry went to bed hungry after eating only a few slices of bread and a small salad. Thanks mom for the most perfect looking and tasting pot pie EVER!)

So Miss Sydney ...

Don't look away. I am talking to you!

Yes YOU!

Don't even think of cracking a smile!

I want to know WHY you are all of a sudden needing to suck on your hands, smile and kick, coo, and eat...every 2 hours!

And don't laugh...

Because this is serious business.

Is it because you are growing? Or is the bassinet just too small...because maybe it is time to move you to your crib...

OH! Now I have your attention! See, mama is serious!

And don't think about giving me some cute little look that is going to change my mind.

So tonight, we are going to attempt the crib. And maybe she will suck her hands for an hour before making enough noise to get my attention...or maybe she will fall back asleep on her own. Or maybe she will be freaked out and find the bigger space to be overwhelming and we will introduce ourselves to a little unhappy Sydney tonight.

Reality, I have been SO lucky these last few weeks. I have been getting really good sleep. And when I finally get myself to sit up in the wee hours of the night, with a heavy sigh and a little annoyance uttered under my breath at my snoring husband... I look down at her and she smiles I can't help catch my breath. I can't help remind myself that this is it. She is only this little for so long. So I actually don't mind the middle of the night feedings.

The reality, is I hate the exhaustion the next day. The lack of patience. The feeling of wanting to run away and hide. The confusion I feel towards being happy with the day or totally irritated.

Lacking good solid sleep makes me irrational, irritated, uninspired, and lost during the day. Did I get all the blogs I wanted written today - no. Did I take time to practice my zig zag stitch - no. Did I take a nap - no. I instead wandered in discontent, frustrated that tomorrow will come and I didn't take advantage of the day.

Ed took the boys to two parks yesterday. He had them outside all afternoon. This morning they worked on trimming trees. And still I couldn't settle myself.

There is no chance for a nap these days. The spring winds are blowing and the boys are hopping to get outside right after lunch and I can't close my eyes when they are out there. So, tonight, we will see. This week we will see. And hopefully, we will see Miss Sydney go back to her good sleep habits...because her pediatrician said she shouldn't slide backwards - that we should be tough and let her fuss it out a bit. And really, she isn't fussing. She just wants to coo, kick, suck on her hands, and maybe, moving her to her crib will solve the problem. or maybe it is the swaddle. Or the bedtime timing. The routine. What I ate. Her pjs...ugh..the list could go on and on and on.

Reality - this week, I am thinking I might be a wee bit tired.


Barb said...

Sweet sweet dreams are what I wish you Sarah - get the winks when you can! Hysterical & so cute to see Sydney laughing.

Goings on at the Glenn's said...

sounds a lot like me. Sleep is a requirement for this mama to be happy too. Reality is sinking here bit by bit too. sigh...

Raina and Andy said...

oh man i feel like i jinxed everything with that dumb email. oops. sorry. but this post was totally cute with all her emotions and the daughter listening but not really listening to her mom. i hope you get sleep too. maybey ou need to swaddle her tighter so she can't get out or use one of those velcro ones so that she can't wake herself if she swings her arms? or the quiet of her own room, not listening to you shuffeling your feet under the covers etc. good luck. can't wait for an update.... RR

Stacey said...

First of all love that little conversation up above and also love the 'don't get crazy' look from Dad.

And I just got a little emotional. Because I so remember those days when you just cannot function for lack of sleep. And while I hated the lack of sleep and crabby, emotional Mama thing, I so miss the days of tiny babies. Hang in there. Try to get enough sleep to prevent the crazy (I know, I get crazy too), but also try to enjoy all those little moments with all three. These moments go by way too fast.

The Tompkins Family said...

We had good sleep until 3 months. It has now been 1.5 months of trying to figure out what the heck changed! So you are NOT alone! Tonight I was feeding Presley before bed with Shawn was bathing Samara. I told Shawn I thought I was going to skip my workout tonight. He said, "you think? You have such big bags under your eyes that I think you should go to bed now!"...but of course now I have my second wind so the zombie cycle continues!

Cara said...

Adorable pictures! Hopefully, it is just a growth spurt. My oldest started sleeping well at 2 months, then stopped at around 3 months. I was one of those "mean" mommas who had her cry it out at bed-time. She really didn't cry much at all. And, within 3 days, I could put her in bed *awake* and *happy* and she'd sleep through the night. It wasn't long before she was sleeping 9 PM to 9 AM. She went to bed happy and woke up happy.


Neither of my boys did that, although I did *improve* their ability to nap and go to bed at night using the cry it out method. I know is is not a popular method and it's not for everyone. It is HARD to hear them cry. But, it was totally worth it to end up with happy babies and a happy momma. Naturally, I will now make the disclaimer that they were always well fed, not sick, and truly tired before I'd employ this method. ;oP

The Mama said...

I too, had a wonderfffullll sleeper, until 3 months old. Then for a few days, or weeks, I honestly don't remember, it was every 2-3 hours. It SUCKED. Makes life so hard, especially when you are used to good sleep and you have another little one (or more than one, in your case) to look after. I am praying tonight for more sleep for you. I feel so defined by sleep, but it is so important for mama's!

As I say this it is about an hour past my bedtime, and my 6am wake up will not be fun! :)

Jenner said...

Those photos are some of the cutest I've ever seen! Get your sleep while you can and I'll keep hoping Syd gets on a normal schedule for you soon!

Danifred said...

I hope you were able to get a peaceful night's sleep.

That smile is just too much!

April said...

Such a cute post!!

Jennifer said...

Oh my gosh, I LOVE the series of photos and and you are really funny, even sleep deprived. I hope you got a good nights sleep. I can totally relate. I feel like a different person when I'm not getting enough sleep.

Anonymous said...

1. I would never judge you for eating alone in the car. Remember to grab some good tunes first though.

2. Love Ed's look. I've seen that one before.

3. Miss Sydney is so cute! Love that laughing pic.

4. Is that a Grandma Charlie creation under Sydney in those pics????? I want to see more!


Anti-Supermom said...

What a hilarious post, her expression at such a young age are amazing!

Glad that her first crib night went well... and of course, that it continues~


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