"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
- Bill Cosby, U.S. comedian (1937- )
Hal's Take:
Referees have thankless jobs. Think about it: someone is always upset with them. If you find yourself at the center of sibling controversy, parenting can sometimes feel the same way. Be assured, though, there is no need to wear the stripes and blow the whistle. When we step in and try to make sure everyone plays fair and equality prevails, we are usually the losers. Have you ever really listened to yourself when you jump into a heated exchange with your kids? You end up tangled in their twisted, childish logic worse than they do – and you’re supposed to be the adult! Instead, allow them the space to work things out amongst themselves and model calm for them. Ultimately, the skills they’ll develop in doing this are far more important than who got to sit in the front seat yesterday. They’ll learn more about themselves and others in the process and you just might be surprised by their creativity and compassion.
-Hal Runkel, LMFT author of ScreamFree Parenting
------------------
A year or so ago I read the book Scream Free Parenting...and I found many useful tips. I loved how it focused on me rather than picking apart my child's behavior and choices. I do realize that the root of most of what happens (good or bad) during the day, has to do with my reactions to their behavior.
And so I love getting these little bursts of insight each morning. You can sign up here to get the daily bits of advice. On any given day I find some of them hit me as very profound.
Other days I delete them and move on.
Just a resource for quick inspiration, check it out.
And so I love getting these little bursts of insight each morning. You can sign up here to get the daily bits of advice. On any given day I find some of them hit me as very profound.
Other days I delete them and move on.
Just a resource for quick inspiration, check it out.
Posts
4 comments:
Going to check it out!
Ummm...both of those quotes hit my nail right on the head. Something was happening the other night and Husband was trying to rationalize with the Crazies and I stopped and said, "do you know how crazy you sound?" Yes, and that's what I sound like every single day!
BTW...are we supposed to sign up for the email updates? Or the podcast? b/c I am not paying $200 for this...not yet!
I love this book and principle based parenting too! It just makes sense to focus on what you CAN change rather than wasting all your energy on what you cannot. I share ScreamFree through a great online program that supports moms the entire time - it has changed the lives of many families. Love the quote too!
Post a Comment