Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I'm just sayin'

As mothers/parents we are so aware of firsts...
first smiles
first teeth
first steps
first time rolling over
first experience with snow
first time on an airplane
first cracker
first illness
first, first first.....

But I was thinking...do we get the luxury of taking in the last...
When I weaned my boys I know I was aware that it was ending and I remember thinking, take in this moment - it might be the last.  But then they were weaned and I couldn't really remember the last time.

I think the last is almost more significant because it is what causes you to stop, catch your breath, and feel a little uneasy - realizing the time flying by and the reality that they don't snuggle with a bottle, or take your hand crossing the street.

Henry's vocabulary and speech is taking off...he is starting to speak more and more in phrases. And the days of one word attempts is coming to a close. Soon everything he says will be identifiable by strangers.   There won't be cute formations of sounds and letters to bring meaning to his exploration.  Will I realize that he no longer says, "puter" but instead says "computer" or "mood" instead of "move".   I know I won't realize when they call me mama for the last time and instead call me mom.  I will just all of a sudden be 'mom'.   I wish a little warning signal would sound so I could take these 'last' moments in.

Although it is probably good that these moments pass us by.  Because the times when I sit and try to remember happen every once in a while and the "ding ding ding" reminder would probably be going off every few minutes - since they are changing so often. 

I'm just saying...will I realize the last time....
-my boys ask me for a snack and don't just go help themselves.
- they play in the sandbox.
-ask for a push on the swing.
-need me to cut up their food or pour their milk.
-a kiss will cure an injury.
-and so on .....

What "last" are you dreading?  Or what "last" do you wish you remembered better?

This post is part of Shell's Pour Your Heart bloghop.  Head here for more gal's pouring their hearts out.


13 comments:

6512 and growing said...

Food for thought.

I have missed so many "lasts." Often, it's months later that I realize a transition has happened and I'm slapping my hand on my head: *how could I have missed that?*

But really, the best is just noticing the Now.

Messy Mommy said...

So so true! I think it's just because we never know when the last time is going to be!

The Gardiner Family said...

I don't look forward to first grade when Sophie's chair will be empty for lunch. I love my full table, even with the mess it brings!

Shell said...

Such a bittersweet post. Lasts are so much harder to remember.

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about this last night. I was realizing that Tommy will one day be that middle schooler I teach. I was wondering when he'll stop giving me huge hugs when he mistakes laughing for crying (he had me laughing really hard and he thought I was upset).

Kim

Beth said...

Those "lasts" are so long ago now. I remember thinking we would never forget but somehow in time we have. Now I'm dreading the last time I ask if has homework, the last time I pray over his projects and tests, the last time he talks to me about the girls who interest him, the ones who don't, and the difference between the two, the last time he shares his heart and dreams with me instead of the lucky girl he will marry, the last time he comes home because then he moves on.

They grow up so fast!

Crazed Mama said...

Shell, is right, this is a very bittersweet post. It is also so eloquent. I am dreading the last time my little girl wants me to rock her before she goes to bed. She is 2 and still say's "rocky mommy" at bed and nap times. I have found that I rush less with her, trying to hold on longer to my last "baby"

Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog today.

Roz said...

Wow. This post moved me deeply. Well written, and thanks for sharing. I have a lump in my throat (or "froat" as Ben STILL says...)!

molly said...

Yes, yes. There is so much truth to this, missing those lasts, their greater importance. Thanks for the reminder; so very needed.

Cara Riggles said...

Awww! I almost had to get a hankie! Both of my boys were totally hooked on having a sippy cup of something to drink EVERY time we got into the van to go somewhere. It used to drive me crazy and I couldn't wait for it to end! Now, they are 10 and 6 and I don't remember the last time!

I am so glad both of them are very loving. They welcome snuggles and hugs and kisses. My 6-year old is small for his age and I can still easily bundle him up in my arms! :o)

My daughter is 15 and I can honestly say we are friends (though that doesn't mean I'm not still her PARENT). It has been wonderful to have a teen!

Blessings,
Cara

Lisa said...

This is so true...my last that hurt me was when my oldest stopped calling me mommy. She's almost 28 now and about to have her first baby but I will always remember the last time she called me mommy and the first time she called me mama.

Kim - In Search of Me in Mommy said...

Oh, yes...I have thought about this too! I remember when my boys were infants (they are 4 and 5 now) how much I LOVED the froggy legs. I don't know when the last time was. One day I just noticed they didn't do it anymore.

MommyBrain said...

I feel like the lasts are never lost on me. I anticipate them. Worry over them. Feel a sharp sadness caused by them. Especially now that I am not having any more babies. As my baby girl passes through these first few months of her life alongside of my sprouting two year old, I know how fleeting this moments are ... and it makes me heartsick. I have actually been trying to focus on the NOW ... and take lots of photos ... and journal as much as possible.

Thank you for pouring your heart out ... beautiful post ... really.

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