Last year at this time these were my thoughts. For some reason this year the weekend of being a hunting widow has been harder for me...maybe it is the fact that the boys aren't 100%, maybe it is that I am not 100%, maybe it is that last weekend was supposed to be my weekend and it wasn't. Maybe it is the fact that I don't have my camera. Ed is guaranteed 3 weekends a year of fun getaways - to revitalize, replenish,and recharge. These weekends are planned and all he has to do is confirm and go. When he goes hunting he is essentially unreachable - I can't pester him with emails or phone messages. Bless this time for him and I hope he understands the value and importance. I am so glad he gets it.
I guess, you will notice I have written quite a bit about this topic - of "me" time. I think because this time of year hits hard. It gets darker earlier - the ease of a change in scenery by heading outside for those long two hours between 4pm and 6pm is no longer an option. The holidays are upon us and the stress of fitting everything in - stretching the normal monthly dollar to manage extra groceries for things that need to be baked or cooked...and then of course the ever stressful present shopping. Add to that the energy that your children have about all the excitement of the season. All of it weighs heavily on a mother's shoulders. So it is around this time when I realize that "single" parenting is an enormous job that I am so glad I don't have to do daily.
One of my new years resolutions ( I know it is early but I want to remember this one)is to find time where I can replenish my soul, recharge with mama energy, and remind myself that every moment is precious with these two little buggers who make me smile one minute and grit my teeth the next. It might not be golf outings twice a year or hunting in the woods...but something that allows me the feeling of "I can't wait to get home and see my family."
Today was about not doing my hair and wearing sweats all day. It was about playing 10 games of Memory and 6 games of Go Fish (thank you to the bowling party goodie bag). It was about dumping toys out of every bin and making a mess out of the house (but that is the sign of a good day). It was about having the neighbor girls over for some fun, eating hot dogs for lunch - again, and and an extra Dora cartoon. It bothers me on days when the house is a pit and my hair looks like it did when I woke up (I did shower I just didn't follow through with the rest). Yet, I realize that what matters today is that we had a fun day.
And you ask...who protects us when daddy is gone...my knight in shining armor! Can't wait for your return tomorrow Ed. Love you!