Monday, February 23, 2009

Remember the Us in our marriage

Ed's job has given us the opportunity to get away together a few times in the last 4 years. He has to work for part of the time but it is a trip that we would otherwise not take together because our priorities always seem to center around our children. And when I decided to stay home, one of the things we talked about having to give up was taking trips. So to be able to escape life in MN for a few days is such a gift. Lately, I hear of acquaintances who are dealing with divorce or trouble in their marriage. They are often emptynesters; and now that their little birds have grown their own wings and they have flown off to test them - mama bird and papa bird are left in this big nest with only each other.

My parents have an amazing relationship. I hope someday, Ed and I can enjoy each other like they do. They are so social now and they take trips and do things together whether it is a cruise with 12 great friends, a Badger game with another couple, or a fish fry and a blues band on a Friday night alone. They have fun together. My goal in life is to raise my boys so that they can move out and make their dreams come true. But that means that it leaves me with "just" Ed. As I hear of these older couples struggling I wonder if they lost what they had in the beginning of their relationship because they stopped making time for each other. They stopped having "fun" together. Raising children is hard and I am realizing that as they get older it doesn't necessarily get easier. It is so easy to just talk about the kids, to just do things with the kids, and to live for the kids. But this trip that we are gifted gives us a chance to sit on an airplane for a few hours together, to eat a few meals together, to walk the beach, or find something to do together.

I missed the trip last year because Henry had just been born. I think...I can say...that Ed missed having me there. This trip is also special because I get to see him in a different the professional. I am gifted with the chance to meet some of his coworkers. I also get to hang out with some of their wives. We all sit on the beach while the men are in meetings and chit chat about everything and anything. Some of the women are grandmas, some of them have college aged children, some have high school/middle school/ or elementary. Some have new babies and missed the vacation because they are home being mommies. I sit and am quiet quite a bit on this trip because I find all of these women amazing and I love hearing how they live their lives. 4 days sitting on the beach with them gives lots of time to talk about everything and anything. As the trip ends we all fly out at different times and we say our good-byes...and most likely I won't hear or see them again until next February (if the trip happens because it isn't a sure thing). We all go back to our busy lives with our hardworking husbands that all leave us each morning to go work together.

So this trip is a gift. It gives me a chance to revitalize and get away but more importantly it gives Ed and I a chance to have a little time focusing on just each other and not who is giving bath, who is packing the diaper bag, who is picking up the milk and eggs, and how much we will have to pay the babysitter...etc. etc. etc. I said to Ed that we don't have to fly somewhere to have this time night on a Saturday night after the kids go to bed, a night at a hotel in the area, swapping kids with another couple so that you can go out to dinner without paying for a babysitter....whatever it may be...I make it a goal to keep our marriage a priority in our family because it can only mean more amazing things for our family. Because my plan is to never feel like I am left with "just" Ed in my nest...but rather, it is our time to focus on each other again....I want to anticipate that. I do anticipate that.

It has been three times that we have done this trip together and this is the first year I took a few pictures. My sister demanded...I am glad she did. Here are the few we took.

1 comment:

Sarah, Steve, Braden and Olivia said...

Looks like an awesome time together! I love the close up of the two of you with the sunset in the background. Beautiful!! Glad you had fun. :)


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