Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Being real....

If you were an "in real life friend" who actually physically tried to make plans with me or went on outings...if you were one of my friends that came over to our house to play, or walked your kiddo out to buckle him/her into our car because we carpool  If you are someone who knows me in real life.......

You would see/know that...

-sometimes I wouldn't let you in or would take back an invite over to our house because it was too messy, too piled with laundry, and the bathroom wasn't sanitary for guests and I was too lazy to clean it up.

-sometimes my kids eat hot dogs, pancakes, frozen pizza, or noodles with butter too many times in one week.

-sometimes we con the kiddos into a book on cd so that we don't have to read to them and can be done with bedtime 30 minutes sooner.

-sometimes the car floor is so covered in toys, fishy crackers, and other crap it is unsafe for kids to get in and out without tripping.

-sometimes I will say no to the boys for going out for lunch but then will swing through the Starbucks drive through and get myself a 4 dollar latte.

-sometimes I cancel plans to go fun places because I get overwhelmed and decide I can't imagine it going smooth enough to make it a success.

-sometimes I skip making fun plans with friends because I honestly feel like it won't be worth it since Sydney is so much work at parks etc.  It is way easier to go just us and not feel like I am being a bad friend for not being able to let friends finish sentences, since I am running to and fro after Syd.

-sometimes I crawl into bed before Ed is done putting the boys to bed because I am that tired.

-sometimes I rewash a load of clothes because they sat too long in the washer.

-sometimes Syd eats more than her fair share of fishy crackers...a snack that Charley rarely had at this age. 

-sometimes I pour myself a glass of wine while prepping dinner but never drink it. 

-sometimes I forget to finish "doing" my hair.

-sometimes I borrow things and it takes months and months for me to return them because (Jessie I have your fan and Laura I have your book)....well there is no excuse.

-sometimes I plan an outing or activity just so I have something to blog about.

-sometimes I believe I am a better mom when I am with my kids at a car dealership sitting for an hour and a half in a waiting room because I am not distracted by house stuff.

-sometimes I miss entire conversations with my kids because I am reading an email on my phone.

-sometimes I threaten things I can't follow through with.

-sometimes I take things away like going for ice cream knowing that I never planned to take them for ice cream in the first place.

-sometimes I eat too many chocolate chips during the day because I am craving chocolate.

-sometimes I give to many warnings and then react from my gut instead of reacting from my head and heart.

-sometimes I give thanks as I fall asleep that Miss Sydney was kept safe today because she is daring these days and I catch her scaling the couch, running to close to the street, or standing proud on the kitchen table. 

-sometimes I get really cranky at Ed because I really wanted him to bring home dinner and he can't read my mind.

-sometimes I feel so lucky that my life is so good and sometimes I am overwhelmed with so much anxiety and paranoia. 

-sometimes I call Ed for no reason other than to hear his voice.

-sometimes I use the excuse that he comes home late to not cook a better dinner for us.

I am human.
I am not perfect.
I hope that I keep it honest enough on my blog.

And even though I find many blogs to be so inspiring...they also sometimes make me feel like I'm not good enough.  But this post by The Happiest Mama hit the nail on the head with many thoughts in this post. 

"Here’s what I think I’ve worked out: writers – and, in a larger sense, all of us mothers – have the responsibility to share honestly, not to paint our lives as something they’re not. That means acknowledging that while we might be really great at some things or really passionate about others, we don’t “do it all” and we all fall short. Some writers are great at this. I love, for example, how bloggers like SouleMama and Kelle Hampton note right in their FAQs that their blogs are a small portion of their lives – the parts of their lives they want to celebrate and document – not the whole story.

But as a reader, I have a responsibility, too. If I’m going to read blogs that move me to do better, to try new things, to seek beauty and patience and creativity and possibility, I have to allow those bloggers to inspire me without hanging my self-worth on whether my actual life measures up to the (probably unfairly ideal) image I’ve created of theirs. I have to own not just my choices, but the values that lead me to those choices. And I need to not just accept, but embrace my limits, and allow my priorities – my priorities, not anyone else’s – to guide the decisions I make.

Following the “green living” example, am I a hypocrite if I work hard to get my family to recycle more and reduce waste, but also use disposable diapers? Or if I sometimes let my kids dunk their locally-grown carrots in HFCS-laden ranch dressing? Or if I can’t really ever see myself robbing our emergency fund so that I can buy the children only organic-cotton clothing? I don’t think so. My conscience feels clear on the trade-offs I’ve made.

At the same time, I think recycling and reducing and natural foods and reducing pesticides are wonderful goals, and I am grateful for the mothers who feel so strongly about those things that they are willing to be the passionate voices inspiring me to do a little better, a little better, a little better.
It’s not another blogger’s responsibility to make sure I feel great about my life when I visit her online home. Only I can do that, and the first step is getting really clear about what my values really are, and what choices I am able and willing to make to support them – doing as well as I can with the resources I have at any given time, and leaving my defensiveness at the door so that other people’s lifestyles and opinions don’t feel like a personal commentary on mine.

Over the years I’ve come to realize that what I’m drawn to is not a specific lifestyle, or parenting style, or perfection. What I am drawn to is people living out their convictions, seeking their own personal bests, carving out a life that fits their values.

I think it is really hard not to feel the pressure to do all the things you dream of doing and being and making and experiencing when you are a blog reader.  But our days are only so long and as a busy mama of three I have to be honest with myself that....

-I can only.... exercise, cook, plan crafts, clean, see friends, return library books, grocery shop at multiple stores using coupons found in both the newspaper and online with three kids, knit them all sweaters, sew them all pjs, grow my own food, mow the lawn, make my own jewelry, shop sales, homeschool, speak three languages, have a full time job, have an active roll in my church, volunteer in my community, do house projects and learn new skills, see friends for happy hour on a regular basis, etc  -to the best of my ability.  I have to pick and choose my priorities and find a way to balance my wants, desires, needs, and responsibilities.  And realize that what works for me isn't what works for everyone else. And what is important to me isn't valued the same as a different mama.  And as long as I find peace with my chosen priorities...I can still enjoy and find inspiration with all those that amaze me. 

So curious what blog you follow that inspires you somehow.  Can you share the blog and why it inspires you?  Or share something REAL about yourself.

Here are a few of the blogs that inspire me.. (located in my side bar)...

Pioneer Woman cooks - while raising kids, homeschooling, and taking part in ranch life.
Enjoying the Small Things - inspires with her positive outlook on life and it's challenges
Soule Mama -raises kids, knits, and has such an organic outlook on life
71 Toes- takes amazing pictures, as she fully embraces and enjoys her time as a stay at home mom who's house and children always looks put together.
Under the Sycamore- sees the beauty in life and makes time for her crafting past time while  sharing her journey as an adoptive parent.
Adventure's in Babywearing - embraces change as she moves to a new home with her family



Peggy, Jason, Lily and Connor said...

I also like ETST a ton. Kelle is a huge inspiration to me--to be dressed up more, to wear more jewlery, to worry less, to make small things huge occasions for no reason. etc.
Another one is For the Love of Naps! I love the variety of her content and the projects and recipes push me to do more of them in my own house! I always can ask her questions on education, parenting, recipes, etc without hesitation and know she will give me honest feedback ina timely way! Thanks, Sarah!
i'm glad that i'm not only a blog friend..that i'm kind of a real-life friend!

Anonymous said...

Saying no to the drive-thru to the kids but yes to a 4 dollar latte totally made me laugh!! Of course, only because I've totally done that :) Great post. I like 100 Days of Real Food although it does make me feel like a bit of a failure when it comes to the way my kids eat. It's really inspiring at the same time, though!

Crystal said...

I like ETST too but - and this has nothing to do with Kelle and more about the readers - sometimes I get sick of all the comments on both the blog and instagram - I feel like Kelle could post a picture of herself smeared with Nella's poop and someone would say "that's awesome! You really rock that look! Where'd you get it?!" Maybe too much ... but if you've seen the comments, I am sure you can relate.

Honestly, I really like your blog and I'm not just saying that! I like that you have great ideas, great photos, real stories, and you seem REAL, not like you live in a cloud like some other blogs I've come across.

Heather (One Take On Life) said...

I like Whatever for her craftiness, and her photo's. She makes me want to go thrifting.

I also like Let's lasso the moon, read this article, I love this message, also just has lots of great ideas.

I get that whole not wanting to get together because at 18 months old they are busy little ones. I also think IRL friends that are truly friends get that, they wouldn't expect you to sit, it is a time in your life right now.


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