Tuesday, June 19, 2012

failing on summer expectations - succeeding at summer fun

This week we have gotten to do a little dog walking.
Miss Sydney loves dogs. 
She is drawn to them.  She shows excitement when she spots them.  
She crouches down and flips her wrists around, talking with her hands, like she is telling them something.  

 She was holding the leash so lightly that it kept dropping so I wasn't too worried. 
But Ed wandered out to remind me that this weekend we have a big wedding and she doesn't need to b dragged across the pavement this week.  Good point daddy.  Always aware and reasonable.  

Last night I couldn't verbalize my frustration...at least not like Ed when he couldn't find a baggie tie in our Ziploc/Saran wrap drawer.  He was not impressed with the chaotic organization...which I get, but does any other mama's who are home all day take it personally when someone finds something unorganized or not up to par.  I know Ed didn't mean to make me feel like I did...but I think of myself as a failure when he gets frustrated with little things like the chaos in some random drawer.  

And from there I seemed to unravel feeling like I couldn't get on top of the house stuff yet this summer.  He quietly reminded me that it has only been a week.  And that is so true.  I do think it takes kids some time to get themselves into summer mode...where they aren't directed by a teacher from one activity to the next, surrounded by a plethora of friends.  Their energy, their mind, their social desires, the fact that summer means down time where they have to get creative and utilize their imagination to fill some of  the hours of the day -- all of it takes some getting used to.  And the whole sibling time thing - well that is a balance too. 

We have had really great days so far.  
Unexpected, spur of the moment pool trips for an hour here and there.  I have mastered three at the pool and I am so grateful for this energy sucking outlet.  

But getting things picked up, toilets cleaned, laundry folded and put away...it is just that much harder here.  They are boys and their energy builds.  And Miss Sydney is a full blown toddler into EVERY. THING.

Ed pointed out that they need some routine and hearing me complain how they won't help with their chores/ little tasks or read or actually play something instead of running with long tinker toys in their hands (swords)or arguing over which character they are going to be but never actually "Being" said character.  He said find a routine.  Make them do their learning stuff or chores before anything fun happens and I seriously whined back,

"But that is hard on me, to hold them to the no screen or fun or play dates until they have done some of the things we expect of them."  

I will admit that yesterday when they started whining and romping I packed them up to hit the pool instead of holding my ground.  Avoidance.

And he agreed that for a couple days it would be exhausting.  But they need to learn the expectations.  So this is where I am at.  Gearing up to give these two summer loving boys a good dose of expectation - rewarded with the endless possibilities of summer adventure.  

They are such good kids.  And they play really well together.  And summer has just begun, even though it seems like it is speeding along so quickly.  Life needs to slow down a little so we can all regain our footing and realize that there needs to be a balance of home and outings, friends and family, expected must do lists and fun bucket list adventures.  It all has to find their way into our day.  So here goes.  Here's to an afternoon that will probably have some rocky moments - but maybe not.  Maybe just maybe they will get it.  Understand and surpass my expectations.  


Goings on at the Glenn's said...

I am soo right there with you when it comes to the hubs findings something out of order and commenting on it. It is a serious blow to my confidence. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job with hardly any breaks. And when they find something amiss it makes you feel inadequate and like a failure. Why do we focus so much on what we can't accomplish instead of on how much we have done and have created. Great post. And yes it is hard to hold the little ones to the no screen time. Sometimes it is sooo much easier to let them do what they want. That way they stay busy, happy and the whining stops right? Go mama go!

Lynelle said...

I, too, can so relate to this post. Same kind of things going on around here. Even the messy drawer and me taking it personally. Miss you guys! Hope that at some point this summer our schedules will work together and we can see each other.


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