To each of my children...

My mom sent me this poem for Mother's day.  And I love it.  The poem she sent is in blue print.  My addition to my children is in black.  I wondered all day what each of you were doing for your Mother's day.  I have read WAY to many wonderful posts about mother's day and the thoughts and feelings associated with it.  Being a mother is life altering.  It is a gift.  A gift. 


To the First Born -

I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle.  You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of a young love, the promise of our infinity.   You sustained us through the hamburger years....the first apartment furnished in "Early Poverty"...our first mode of transportation (our feet)...the 7-inch TV set we paid on for 36 months.  You were new, had unused grandparents, and had more clothes than a Barbie doll.  You were the "original model" for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out.  You got the strained lamb, open pins and three hours naps. 

                                                                     You were the beginning.

Charley,  you changed my life.  I became a mother.  I began the journey of attempting to figure you out.  I watched my husband become a father.  I cried when you got shots.  I survived dropping you off at daycare and relished the moment each day when I picked you up.  You made our first townhouse a home and celebrated our first house.  You continue to challenge and leave me wondering how you figured that out.  My heart swells when you preform, play soccer, figure out the whole no training wheel bike riding, and reading thing.  I have made life long best friends because of you.  I became a better teacher when I became a mother.  You made me a mama.  Thank you!

To the Second Born -

I've always loved you best because you drew a dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger for it.  You cried less, had more patience, wore faded clothes, and never in your life did anything "first" - but it only made you more special.  You are the one we relaxed with - realizing a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick.  You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married - and the world wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.  You were the child of our busy, ambitious years.  Without you we would never have survived the job changes, the house we couldn't afford...the tedium and routine that is marriage.

                                                                 You were the continuance.

Henry,
You pushed us to take the leap to stay home.  You filled up our bedrooms and motivated us to consider, buy, and enjoy the dreaded minivan.  You turned Charley into a big brother.  You pushed me to grow as a mom.  You take my other hand so I never walk alone.  You remind me how precious my brother and sister are because you hold Charley very close to your heart.  You make time fly.  You make time go way to fast.  You make it real that I have no control over how fast you will grow up.  You cause me to pause and smile ALL. THE. TIME.   You let us feel confident by going with the flow and letting us feel like we know what we were doing at times - and yet challenged us with new adventures too.  You let me mother without as much worry and fear.

You made me want one more. 
YOU. 
Yes, YOU. 
Blessed our life.

To the Baby -

I've always loved you best because endings are generally sad and you are such a joy.  You readily accepted the milk-stained bibs.......the lower bunk...the cracked baseball bat.  The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham cracker pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.  You are the one we held onto tightly.  For you see, you are the link with the past that gives reason for tomorrow.  You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security, maturity, and endurity can't give us.  When your children tower over you, you will still be "the Baby."


                                                                You were the culmination.

Sydney,

You are this constant feeling in my stomach that says - Enjoy.  Snuggle.  Relish.  Life is beautiful.  Because -

This. is. it.

You are the most mellow and go with the flow child a mama of three could ask for.  Maybe it is because you know that my sanity would be unhinged if I got less sleep or had to coddle you more during the day.  Or maybe you just know that you were born so that we could enjoy it all - one. last. time.  With Charley I worried -nonstop.  With Henry I felt guilt - ALL. THE. TIME.  I worried I wasn't doing enough for him or for Charley - the whole balancing the love and attention. 

But with you my dear.  You were born to be loved.  I am relaxed.  I am taking it in.  I am in love with being a mama of an infant with two proud big brothers.  You will challenge us with the whole girl thing.  You knew being third meant the dreaded hand me down thing - and you pulled off arriving as a female and will be dressed up and spoiled for many many years.  

A third child is born to be enjoyed by every single member of the family - without the first child fear and the second child guilt.  Miss Sydey, you are celebrated.