Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The F word

My new (well, it's not so new any more) camera is teaching me a lot about life these days. Take a look at this picture...Life is all about this!

Do you see the focus of the picture is the sophisticated glass of wine and the bottle that my husband diligently brought home after I called and said I was ready to indulge in my first glass of wine post pregnancy.  (Sydney is sleeping a good 8 hours before nursing in the night so I feel safe indulging in a glass).  No, I am not learning to focus on the alcohol.  NO.  That's not it.

Rather, look at the background.  Do you see the mess?  It doesn't stand out in this picture because that isn't the focus.  That isn't what's important.

My days have gotten quite a bit busier since Sydney was born.  My days could be filled with tasks, like doing the dishes, folding the laundry, emailing, reading a book, sweeping the kitchen floor, playdates, a stocking the fridge, cooking meals where the side dishes compliment the main dish, showering, getting out of our pjs, turning library books in on time (well that one is important), and so much more...

But going on 2 months here...I have slowly learned to let all that go - not completely.  But let it go a little more.  By letting it go, and knowing that it is okay, the focus is no longer on that messy busy background, the yucky stuff, but rather it is focused on what's important in life right now.

And right now, that's sitting next to Henry and learning the letters in his name.  It's about reading with Charley.  It's nursing Sydney and wandering the house just talking to her about the rain pitter pattering outside.  It's about sitting down as a family for dinner and all being upstairs during the bedtime shenanigans (which have settled a bit).  It's about going to bed by 9:30 and getting a good 8 hours of sleep.  It's about indulging in jelly beans, a yummy coffee, or a Dr. Pepper because, damn it, my body is working hard these days helping this little miracle plump up like a dumpling.  It's about calling or emailing a friend to stay in touch and see how their day is going.

It's about knowing that the days are long but the years are short - so I better notice the days and suck every last bit of joy out of them.

This afternoon Charley's playdate friend was about to get picked up and I knew that he was going to fall apart and be overwhelmed with the end of such a fun friend experience.  I called a friend to share the anxiety that was building in me.  I was literally feeling shaky worrying about how I would get through the 2 hours before Ed arrived home.  I just wanted it to go smooth and happy.  All that worrying - most likely for nothing.  Since I focused on the important stuff we got dinner made while the boys sat nearby working on tasks with my help.  Focus.  I just need to create the focus that works for the moment.   And that focus was keeping the boys busy while getting dinner ready.  It wasn't the laundry baskets ready to be folded or the toys strewn about the house. 

So, this evening as I enjoyed my first glass of wine in over a year.  And I sat with my hiccuping little bean sleeping peacefully in the bassinet.  And I thought - what a good day it was...I realized it was all because I focused on the right stuff.

So hears to focusing on the "right stuff"!   

And since I am posting this tomorrow, or rather today....

If you took a picture of your day...what would be the focus of the shot?

Is it the it your catch up day for laundry and house tasks?  We all need to focus on this too so we can relax and really focus on the important stuff.

Do you have a sitter and you are out getting yourself a pedicure or haircut? Always good to focus some time on yourself.  Mama's are never in the pictures enough.

Or are you sitting down on the floor and playing Candyland for the 5th time without falling asleep?

Do share!


Raina and Andy said...

GREAT post. love it so much. wish i had written it. RR

The Mama said...

Amazing post. Excellent way to sum it up. Love the picture

Goings on at the Glenn's said...

great post! and sooo true

Shell said...

8 hours? That is awesome! :) Cheers.

We had a messy day here. Lots of playing, but messy.

Stepping On Cheerios said...

Great post.. I need to focus a little more on me, just blogged about it.

dfost said...

Ooooh that first glass of wine post-pregnancy is amazing isn't it?
I think H was about 6 or 7 weeks when I informed my husband he wasn't to come home with out a bottle, too!

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

Interesting...I just did a post on what women do for's sad sometimes to see what we DON'T do for ourselves.

I can escape every now and then, but the Crazies are in preschool for a couple of hours a week. That's kind of nice. I'd say my focus is on having fun with the Crazies and still being able to relax a bit at the end of the day.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, sarah... after a long hiatus from blog reading I'm trying to get back at it. :)
Thankful I did after reading your words.
Molly D.

Staceyb8 said...

I couldnt agree more with your post! We never think about ourselves enough after baby, or take the time to enjoy the little things for that extra moment. Time for relaxation and let the house be what is will be! (can always catch up on housework later.:)

Anonymous said...

lovely lovely lovely post. happy to see that brining a new little one into your life has resulted in a new focus. here's a toast to continued focus on the important things and hoping that all the unimportant things fade fuzzily (yes, i just made up a new word) into the background for years to come!

Heather (One Take On Life) said...

Love the post. I spent all of last week getting to just focus on Family and nothing else.
I was completely unplugged, since, as you know I have a very non high tech phone. And not once did I want to be online. I loved soaking it all in.
This week I haven't been in a hurry to do much of anything except just hang out with the kids. And the focus has been on reliving the vacation through stories.

Jennifer said...

Such a great post! I was just thinking today that I need to stop worrying about the dishes and give my little guys some much needed attention.

Hope you enjoyed every sip of that glass of wine!

Anti-Supermom said...

Right there with you on this post... exactly~


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