As I read other people's blogs, talk to other moms, and lay awake at night thinking I had some thoughts that I just wanted to get out of my head.
Our world is full of all kinds of moms....
=moms who give their crockpot a good workout (I wish I used mine more)
=moms that can change a tire
=moms that stay home
=moms that work
=moms that stay home part time and work part-time.
=moms that keep a clean house.
=moms that are laid back and can let the stress of a clean house go.
=moms that get cleaning people who come in and do the "dirty" work. (gosh I wish this was me!)
=moms that can come up with crazy projects and activities.
=moms that find fun things to do outside of the home.
=moms who fit in a workout.
=moms who don't worry about the workout.
=moms who serve all organic.
=moms who don't do vaccines.
=moms who volunteer at school.
=moms who volunteer their time in so many ways it is amazing.
=moms who can cook a different meal every night.
=moms who know a 100 ways to make tator tot casserole.
=moms who have patience that never ends.
=moms who take time to read up on new ways to raise their children.
=moms who forget to make time for one's self.
=moms who are great at making time for girlfriends, book clubs, and things that make them happy...
=moms who let you know they are having a bad day, a sad day, a great day, or a lazy ass day.
=moms who never let you know that things are not perfect.
=moms who put on makeup even when they don't leave the house.
=moms who don't leave the house period.
=moms who support other mom's the best they can.
=moms who need support right now in their life.
=moms who live by the nap schedule
=moms who sneak the veggies in to their kids foods in secret ways.
=moms who do an excellent job teaching values, morals, religions...the deep and tough stuff.
=moms who raise free spirits.
=moms who rule with an iron fist and are strict.
=moms who are great about getting outdoors and teaching a love of nature.
=moms who do dates with each of her children individually.
=moms who manage to go on dates with their husbands.
=moms who use teen babysitters
=moms who only use family to babysit.
=moms who take their kids to the sled hill.
=moms who join their kids going down the sled hill.
=moms that do everything for their kids.
=moms who give their children chores/jobs/and do their best to teach responsibility.
=moms who don't let their children watch TV.
=moms that know they let their children watch too much TV.
=moms that expose their children to every opportunity out there.
=moms that sign their children up for swimming lessons.
=moms that share ideas.
=moms that keep to themselves.
And there are so many more.
I believe that I am all of these mom's on various day. There are times when I am each of these moms or times when I strive to be one of these moms. There are things on this list that come naturally and things on this list that I have to work really hard at. The thing is...we need all these various ways of being mommys so that our children are all different. It is what makes motherhood a job that doesn't put us completely over the edge because there is no ONE way to do it and accomplish it. There are things one might feel strongly about. There are things that one would maybe say "I would or would never do that." However, something I love about the mom's I surround myself with is that however we choose to do things it is okay. They support me and I hope they know I support them. I learn from each of my friends. I am jealous of each of my friends for their crumbless floor, their time out with girlfriends, their ability to never have a dirty dish on their counter, the way their children play together, the way they hold it together in situations where I would scream out in frustration, their chance to be out using their college degree...this list could go on and on.
I have lived as a working mom and I have lived as a stay at home mom. Both are demanding and hard in their own way. We need both kinds of mom's and it makes me sad when there is tension between the two choices. And that goes for anything on that list up above. So judging yourself as a mom, putting pressure on yourself to do better, feeling confident in the choices you make, where you focus your time, it is hard. It is impossible to feel confident all the time. And if someone says they don't doubt them self at times- I really have a hard time believing it. Maybe not every day -fine - but when the kids don't listen, the house is a mess, the laundry isn't done, and it is spaghetti night, AGAIN! It is impossible not to feel a little down on this job called being a mom. When I feel my confidence weaning I somehow always pull my bootstraps up and figure out how to get myself feeling better. And I have this huge feeling that it comes from having a network of mom's who support, family that encourage, friends who lighten the load, and people that cross the lines of family/friends/mom network. So thank you to all the people who help me feel like tomorrow I will have a little more patience, a little more energy, a little more of whatever it is that I need. Thank goodness there isn't one way to do things and thank goodness we can be a little of all those mom's from time to time. Every day is a fresh start. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE learning and seeing how other mom's do things. I LOVE deciding for myself what is best for me and my kids. Because when it comes down to it...that is what matters. What is best for you and your own. Make that your priority.